


Tiny Hands

by orphan_account



Series: Tiny Hands Universe [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Basically Felix overthinking shit, Changlix being stupid gays, Dildos, Exhibitionism, M/M, Pining, Sex Toys, chan being a dad, kind of?, my baby bear is still in skz in this fuck you jyp, there's some minsung too later, woochan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2020-12-16 19:40:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21041678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It all started when Felix had the great idea of searching for dildos on the internet, because his tiny fingers couldn't reach the right spots when he tried fingering for the first time. But of course, things never stay a secret when you live with other 8 people in a tiny apartment.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I literally started this at 4 am. It's a mess, bye.

Felix probably should be more scared than he is right now. Getting caught doing these kinds of things could mean very bad things for his friendships and career. But the risk of getting caught is actually part of it. He likes to imagine himself being walked on in these situations. He can actually imagine the reactions he would get from his members, when seeing him in this manner, all spread out, with two fingers up his ass.

Felix had never actually tried fingering until a few months ago. He just started feeling like rubbing his dick wasn’t doing much to him anymore. It wasn’t exciting. He was looking for something more.

And that’s how he decided to just test it out. 

The first time it happened was actually after a performance in Busan. They were staying in a hotel and Felix just happened to get a room by himself. Usually, Jeongin was the one to stay on his own, but this time, the boy wanted to spend the night with Woojin, so that left Felix alone. 

After the performance, a few members decided to go out to eat and some wanted to sleep for a little longer than usual. Felix wasn’t feeling sleepy but he didn’t feel like leaving the hotel room either, so he opted for watching TV. 

He switched between channels many times without finding anything interesting to watch… Until he found the porn section, that is. 

It was straight porn, which, for obvious reasons, he was not into, but it got him excited. He looked at the next channel’s name and it was also porn. He switched channels a bit until he came across the gay ones. 

Felix always knew he was gay. Growing up, it was pretty obvious to not only himself but to other people. He didn’t have many issues with accepting himself or being accepted by his friends and family. 

He never dated anyone before, but he did experiment a little bit during high school. It never got too intimate. Only a few blowjobs and handjobs here and there, nothing too interesting. He did think of dating, sure, but soon he had started training at the company and he was too busy to even think about it much. He was still horny, yes, but it was nothing a quick jerk-off couldn’t do the trick. 

And after he debuted, dating was just nothing but a dream. He didn’t want to risk his career and a dating scandal for a rookie idol was pretty damaging, especially a gay one, so he kept his needs to himself. 

So gay porn wasn’t exactly something very foreign to him. He watches it quite often at the dorms, but he never has enough time to think about it much. 

But here, all alone in this hotel room, he has time to do pretty much anything and everything. And that’s exactly the motivation he needed to go take a shower and clean himself thoroughly, before searching for his tiny bottle of lube in his bag.

He knew how to do it, or, at least, thought he knew. He was mistaken, of course. He had only watched and read about it, but had never actually tried it, so obviously, he was doing it wrong. 

He was doing everything way too fast and harshly, especially for a first time. For someone so inexperienced, he should probably be more gentle and soft. And overall, he should probably have searched about some things on the internet first.

But after an hour without feeling any pleasure whatsoever, he started relaxing a little more and started taking things more smoothly. He did feel a little pleasure, but there was an issue still.

His fingers were simply too tiny for this.

He couldn’t reach the right spots for the love of god. He kept on pushing and trying harder, but it was only making his wrist hurt. He couldn’t reach that sweet spot everyone talked so much about on the internet. The whole reason for doing this was to be able to get some prostate stimulation. But, if he can’t even touch it, what’s the point?

He sighed in disappointment and left his hand fall on the bed, his fingers leaving his hole. 

Felix breathed heavily. His dick was still hard, but he just felt frustrated at this point. He had been so excited to try this out, just to be disappointed because of his tiny little hands that couldn’t reach shit. 

It felt quite pathetic to just stroke his dick to completion after doing all of that, so he decided to take a cold shower and forget about everything. 

It looked like he would have to stick to the basics apparently. 

He couldn’t forget about it, afterall. The thought of fucking himself kept coming back to his mind. He wanted to try again. Maybe if he does more research and understands a little more about what he should do, it would feel better. 

But now, he wasn’t alone in a room anymore. He was at the dorm and had to share his space with eight other guys. He had roommates and no time or privacy.

But he still wanted to try so bad. He kept thinking about it in the worst times. During practice or in meetings about their comeback. And every time, he could feel his dick twitch at the thought of being fingered. He just couldn’t hold on any longer. He felt so empty. He really just needed to filled with something. Anything!

So that’s how he ended up on this website, looking at pictures of many fake dicks. He had to give it to the people who made these. The website had such big variety of sex toys that he felt a bit overwhelmed. It was exciting, sure, but also super scary. What if the other members found out? What if he bought one of these dildos and a member found it in his room somewhere? They would question everything about him, from his sexuality to his actual presence in the group. 

He couldn’t deal with that. He couldn’t even think about not being accepted by his closest friends, let alone leaving the group. This was simply not up for debate.

He closed his computer and decided to put his mind to something else. Maybe practice or studying korean. Anything that would take his mind off his perverted thoughts. 

He got his things and left the dorm, making his way to the company. This was one of the things he liked about his company: the practice rooms were always open for the artists to dance as much as they’d like. Not many groups would practice at night if a comeback was yet to be scheduled. 

He entered one of the rooms and proceeded to train for a few hours.

When Feix got to the dorms at one in the morning, he was sweaty and tired and all he wanted was to take a shower and go to bed. 

But after seeing his members united in the living room, he felt like the mood was a little off. Everyone was talking at the same time and Felix couldn’t understand much, only that they were talking about him for some reason.

The moment he stepped in the living room, the place went silent. The members stared at him with curiosity. Felix noticed Chan was holding a computer. His computer.

Felix immediately remembered about what he had been searching earlier and penicked. Did he close the tab? Did he wipe the history? Not that he could recall. Most likely not. 

“Felix?” Chan spoke up. “I didn’t mean to look… I… I just needed a file and the members were around and…”

Chan let the sentence die out. It was clear to Felix that he had seen the website. He had seen what Felix had been trying to hide.

“Give it back.” Felix said. His voice sounding weak. “Please.”

Chan looked nervous.

“Felix, I…” he tried to speak, but was interrupted.

“Give me the fucking computer, Chan!” The usually calm freckled boy, spoke with anger.

The leader seemed scared by the younger member’s outburst. Felix was always so kind and bright. He had never seen him angry like this. Felix knew that he was also scaring the other boys too, but he didn’t care at the moment. The only thing he could think about was that he wanted his computer back and that he wanted to cry in his room, alone.

Chan closed the computer and got up. He was taking his time with it, so Felix got impatient and took the object off the leader’s hands harshly, then turned around and went to his room, closing the door loudly after entering. 

He could hear the members talking over each other again. Could also hear them arguing about what they had seen. All of it made Felix extremely anxious. He just couldn’t handle listening to them anymore.

He put his headphones on and played a random song on his phone. But even turning up the volume wasn’t blocking out the voices of his friends. Hear them talking about him made the boy tear up very quickly. 

He felt hopeless and embarrassed. They knew about his sexuality. Something he had tried to hide for so long. And they discovered that in the worst way possible. Felix just didn’t think he could ever look at their faces again. He felt so exposed.

They probably thought that Felix was just shameless to not only think that way about men but to act on his desires in such a way. They probably felt disgusted when they saw those pictures on his computer and realized what was happening.

Felix never cried so hard in his life like he did that night. He just couldn’t keep it in. The tears just would come out as if on their own will.

Chan and Woojin didn’t sleep in the room that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't revise this but I guess you're just gonna have to accept that and ignore the mistakes bc i ain't got time for this. bye

It had been two weeks since everyone found out not only about the fact that he was gay, but also his deepest desires, and the boy had distanced himself from absolutely everyone and everything.

Even the fans had started to notice how he was always so quiet and distant now, during lives. He had always been so energetic, playful and cuddly, and now he was silent and lonely all the time. Felix felt sorry to them. He truly wanted to make them happy and be able to make them laugh and act like everything was fine between him and the members, but he simply couldn’t. After what happened, he simply didn’t have energy to talk to them or to speak in general.

All he wanted to do was stay in his room and act like nothing had happened.

The members tried to get him to talk but it never worked. Felix knew they were starting to get worried, but these thoughts were always clouded by his paranoia. 

What if they weren’t actually worried about him? What if the only reason they were trying to talk to him, was to make him act like he always did, so the fans wouldn’t suspect anything. They probably hated him now and were only trying to keep their jobs. They only were trying to protect themselves.

All of this because Felix couldn’t keep his fucking needs in check. 

One day, they were all in practice together, trying to learn the choreography for their new song. The comeback was supposed to be in just a month and they had perfect everything by then. 

But Felix just wasn’t feeling it.

Even after the computer incident, Felix always tried his best at practice,because he felt that he owned his members at least that. But today just wasn’t a good day for him. Since what happened, sleeping had been a problem to him because of his roommates. 

He shared a room with Chan and Woojin, which were the two oldest members of the group. And everytime they would be in the same space together, at least one of them would try to get Felix to talk to them in some way. It was either by making jokes with him, or trying to get his attention using his favorite foods.

Felix hated it. All of it. He just wanted to be left alone. He didn’t want to talk about. If they weren’t going to kick him out of the group, then might as well forget everything happened and focus on work. 

The awkwardness in the room was so pressuring, the freckled boy just couldn’t fall asleep. He always felt like he was being watched somehow. Even he’d see that the two other boys were already deep in dreamland, he felt too claustrophobic in the same place as them. 

So he would eventually give up on sleeping and leave the room. He often fell asleep in the couch or on the carpet, in the living room. 

He would wake up once he heard any door opening in the house, meaning that another member had woken up. He didn’t want to see them try to socialize with him, so he would leave before they would have such chance.

And this is exactly what had put in the situation he was right now. He hadn’t fallen asleeps for two days now. His body was immensely tired but his mind wouldn’t shut up. He felt nauseous and his body ached. He couldn’t focus or think properly. And that meant he was making a lot of mistakes.

Everyone noticed how sloppy Felix’s dancing was coming out, but no one was pointing it out. To be honest, some of the members had already given up on trying to talk to Felix at all. They did their best and the boy still wouldn’t direct a word towards them unless it was needed or about work.

“Felix?” he heard Chan say. “Are you okay? You don’t seem very well.”

Felix didn’t respond. He felt very dizzy all of a sudden. He was tired but not sick. Why was he feeling that way? 

Suddenly, he felt hands on his arms, holding him. He noticed he was sitting on the floor, but couldn’t remember falling down. His vision was going dark and he couldn’t focus. His body ached and he didn’t have any strength to hold himself up anymore. And before he could even realize, he felt his conscious slip away.

He woke up on his bed. His body ached but he felt much better than he did in practice. Looking around, he noticed he was alone in the room and the place was quite silent. More silent then it usually was. 

Felix moved his legs a little and tried standing up slowly. His body was still quite weak but he could hold himself upwards and walk, which is an improvement already. 

He walked out of the room and saw that no one was really around. He could hear some talking in the rooms but the living room and kitchen area seemed to be empty. He headed to the kitchen to grab something to eat. He was starving for some reason. He couldn’t have slept for long, right? 

He grabbed some juice in the fridge and decided to make himself some noodles. It was unhealthy, sure, but it was also the easiest thing to do when feeling sick, so he didn’t dwell on it for too long.

The noodles were already half cooked when he heard a gasp behind him. He turned around to see who it came from. Changbin.

“Felix!” he exclaimed. “Oh my God, you’re already awake. When did you get up? Are you feeling okay?”

Felix felt a little anxious to be here now. Facing his bandmates after what had happened was very hard. But it was specially hard with Changbin and Chan. Chan was the one to find out first and Changbin… Well. It was a different story.

Felix took a while to admit it, but he did have a crush on the smaller boy. So being around him after he saw those pictures… was a bit awkward and embarrassing to say the least.

“I feel fine.” the freckled boy answered. “I got up about ten minutes ago.”

He heard steps and soon Changbin was besides him.

“You have to take better of yourself, dude. You passed right out during practice. We didn’t know what to do.”

“Sorry to bother you.” he said, quietly. “It won’t happen again.”

Changbin fell silent for a few seconds.

“You weren’t a bother, Felix.” the smaller boy said, seriously. “You never were. We were just worried about you. I was worried about you. I want you to be well.”

Felix didn’t really know what to say after hearing that. He kind of thought that the members didn’t really like him anymore and hadn’t told the company about wanting him leave because they didn’t want any scandals. But hearing Changbin say something like this… Maybe they did actually care about him. He was still a little unsure, but maybe, just maybe, he could still be friends with them.

That made the corners of his mouth go up just a little bit. 

“Thank you.” 

“You can always talk to us.” Changbin continued. “About everything, Felix. I hope you know that.”

And then the older boy left Felix alone in the kitchen once again to his own paranoid thoughts. 

Later that day, while Felix was in his room trying to watch a show on Netflix, Chan entered the room. 

At first Felix didn’t think much to it, because it was also Chan’s room afterall, but he wasn’t doing anything besides sit on his bed and stare at Felix. The freckled boy could almost feel the leader’s gaze on the back of his head. 

“What do you want?” Felix asked. He didn’t like the awkward mood in the room.

Chan sighed.

“I was wondering if we could talk… Maybe?” he asked with a sweet and quiet tone.

Felix really wanted to say no. He knew exactly what Chan wanted to about and he didn’t feel like he was ready. But he also felt like taking more time would only make things worse. The members wouldn’t wait for him forever, they would eventually give up.

So Felix took a long breath.

“What is it?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Chan came closer and sat on Felix’s bed, right beside him. He had a serious but sweet expression. Felix didn’t know what to do or what to think. Was the leader going to say anything bad to him? Was he going to give him “the talk” or something like that? Felix was already too old for that.

“I just want you to know that I won’t judge you,” he explained. “No matter what.”

Felix sighed in relief. He had been so afraid that he wouldn't be accepted and that Chan would want him out of the team.

“You… really don’t care?” he asked suspiciously. “About me being… gay?”

Chan laughed.

“Of course not. We’re not some closed minded straight dudes, Felix.” he said and smiled. “Some of us aren’t even straight.”

Felix shook his head in agreement, and then it clicked.

“Wait, what?” he asked. “Who else is not straight? Was I this worried for nothing?”

Chan seriously had the biggest smile on his face right now. It made Felix feel so much better. 

“I can’t say anything for the other members but,” he said quietly. “I´m actually bi so…”

Oh. Felix never thought about that. He knew Chan liked women so he assumed he was straight. But there were many signs he could’ve seen. Felix was just too oblivious to any of them.

“So you also like dudes?” he asked dumbly, just to be sure. 

Chan nodded happily. 

“Oh.” he said mostly to himself. “I’m so stupid.”

Chan laughed.

“Maybe.” his voice sounded very energetic now. “But at least you’re not straight.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, I didn't revise this cuz I ain't got time or patience bye

After that, Felix became much more open. The other members noticed he seemed much better. He was happier and wasn’t pushing the other members away anymore.

Chan had also reassured him that no one wanted him to leave the group. In fact, everyone was worried about him, but some members just didn’t know how to talk to him about it. 

Changbin had been one of them.

By now, all the members had started to try to talk to Felix again. They would ask him to go out with them and made sure to tell him that didn’t care about him being gay at all. They all even made jokes about how they would help him find a boyfriend. Felix couldn’t help but blush at those jokes.

But Changbin was still acting a little different with him. He was still making jokes with him and playing with him during practice and at home, but he was different in some ways. Like, for example, he barely would do skin ship with him anymore. Before, they used to be really close. Not only in front of the cameras but also at the dorm. They would always hug and cuddle. They would hold hands sometimes while watching television.

No one thought it was weird because all of them did the same with each other. Everyone was always really touchy. They had always been this affectionate. 

That’s why Felix didn’t understand why Changbin had stopped doing so. The other didn’t seem to have any problems with hugging Felix and being touchy with him, so why did Changbin suddenly become so mindful of their encounters?

Now, every time they would spend time together, Changbin would make sure there was a certain distance between them. When Felix tried to hug him once in the kitchen, while he was making food, the smaller boy just pushed him away saying he hadn’t showered yet and was too sweaty for hugs at that moment. 

Felix tried not to show how much that hurt. He never cared about being sweaty when they hugged. Why did he start doing it now? 

Maybe… Was he felt like he couldn’t hug Felix anymore? Was it because Felix was gay? Was he so disgusted by the idea of doing skin ship with Felix now that he knew the freckled boy was gay?

Felix didn’t want to think that gay. He knew that he was just being paranoid. Chan had told him that no one in the group had any issues with his sexuality, especially because he wasn’t the only who wasn’t straight. But those terrible thoughts still would crawl into his mind at night, when he was trying to sleep.

Felix had a crush on Changbin since day one, but if he was so against Felix touching him, it was obvious he didn’t like him in that way. Up until now, Felix still had a shred of hope, even if Changbin never looked at him differently than the other boys. He always felt like maybe it could happen one day. 

But now… His hopes were definitely demolished. Changbin wasn’t interested in him. He didn’t even like the idea of them together in that way apparently. 

Felix couldn’t really fall asleep that night, as he kept remembering how close they used to be. Maybe if he had done a better job at keeping his sexually a secret, the two of them would still be that way.

It was all his fault after all.

Felix started distancing himself from Changbin. If he didn’t want Felix to be close to him, then Felix wouldn’t push it. Maybe it was better that way.

Of course that Chan didn’t seem to agree on that matter.

He was always trying to talk to Felix about it, but the boy would never listen. He just didn’t want to hear Chan talk about how he had to get over Changbin and how he should act as if nothing had changed between them. Because everything was different and Felix couldn’t act like it wasn’t.

It was hard. Keeping his distance, that is. He really liked spending time with Changbin. And it wasn’t just because he had a crush on the boy, but also because he was a good friend. He had been there when Felix had hard times being away from his family and feeling lonely in this new country. He helped him get better at Korean and at rapping as well. 

Felix could still remember the nights they spent together with Changbin trying to teach Felix rapping techniques, so he would do better in class and not get yelled at by his tutor. Changbin never complained and always gave him a smile, even when Felix wasn’t understanding something. He had always been patient.

During the show, Changbin had spoken to him once about how the fans seemed to like their skinship and how they would always post things about them being together. He had said so with a smile on his face, and that’s when Felix had started to feel like here was still so hope. That maybe, they could be more than friends.

But seeing the way the smaller boy was acting around him now… He felt like he wasted all of this time creating meaningless fantasies in his head over nothing. There had never been any hope of them being together. He had just been too stupid to see the reality of things.

He had been so stupid. Dating another member? That was highly against the company’s rules. It was prohibited. Even if they did have a chance of dating, the risk of getting caught was too high. Changbin was very passionate about his music. He wouldn’t want to risk it.

After an entire week of trying his best to ignore Changbin, Chan came to talk to him. He called Felix from the kitchen, while the members were watching a movie at the living room. 

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked, really not knowing what was happening.

Chan signaled him to sit on the chair next to him.

“You’re ignoring Changbin.” he said, matter-of-factly. “Don’t even try to deny it. I just want to know why.”

Felix sighed. He was so tired of having no one to talk to about these sorts of things. But now he had Chan. He could trust the leader. 

“I didn’t want to.” he started. “But I started to think Changbin wanted me to maintain my distance.”

Chan seemed confused. He tilted his head and supported his arms on his thighs. 

“He did?” Chan asked with a concerned look. “That is very unusual of him. He wouldn't push you away. That’s very unlikely. How did you come to that conclusion? Did he say something to you?”

Felix shook his head, denying. 

“I noticed that, even after I came out… sort of,” he started. “When everyone was already talking to me like before, he was still distant, but I didn’t think much about it.” he tried his best to explain it to Chan without involving his feelings. He didn’t want Chan to know just yet about his crush on the rapper. “Until, he started making excuses to not touch me. Like saying he was too sweaty to hug me or even straight up removing his hand when I tried to hold it. It seemed like he didn’t want me to touch him. So I thought that maybe, after he found out I was gay, he didn’t… want me to get too close.”

Chan listened to his explanation carefully. Felix noticed he still looked shocked as if he couldn’t believe Changbin would do such thing. Not like he didn’t believe what Felix was saying and more like he just couldn’t believe that those could be Changbin’s actual intentions.

At first, Felix also didn’t think his friend would do something like that, but it still happened anyway.

“I will talk to him.” Chan said. “Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. Or maybe he’s not realizing what he’s doing. I just don’t think he would push you away because of your sexuality, Felix. He’s not that kind of person. He’s a good guy, you know that.”

Felix did know that. But he still had weird feelings about this.

“Don’t worry too much about this, okay.” Chan said. “Tomorrow we have a free day, so I’ll talk to him and see what’s going on with him.”

Felix nodded and helped everything would go well. He really hoped he had just misunderstand. He didn’t want to lose Changbin, even if just as a friend.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is shorter because its pure angst and I didn't think that adding more to it would make a lot of sense, so I kind of just left it as it is

After the movie ended, Chan called Changbin to the boy’s room. He couldn’t bring him to his own dormitory since he shared the place with Felix. It was best to talk to Changbin alone and then, depending on how it went, bring them both together.

Chan waited inside for the rapper to come in. He felt nervous, but he also felt like he needed to do this. He was the leader, and this was part of his job. A good leader would always make sure his members were doing well, physically and emotionally. They were also his friends, and he didn’t want to see them push each other away.

He was brought back to reality after he heard the knob turn. Soon Changbin was entering the room and closing the door behind him.

“So?” the boy asked. “You wanted to talk?” he sounded unsure.

Chan sat on the bed and told the rapper to do the same. Changbin sat on the bed in front of him. He looked just as nervous.

“Did I do anything wrong?” he asked. “Is it about the comeback?”

Chan shook his head.

“Did something happened that you don’t seem to want Felix close to you?” he asked. He tried to word it in a way that wouldn’t sound as harsh, but he noticed that Changbin tensed after hearing the question. “He seemed to have this notion that you don’t want him close to you after he came out. He thinks you don’t like him anymore now that you know he’s gay.”

Changbin looked shocked lo say the least. His mouth was slightly open, and he had a weird expression on his face. He looked hurt somehow.

“That was not my intention…” the boy said quietly. “I didn’t mean to make him feel like that. I do want him close… Too close even….”

Chan knew what that was implying.

“You like, don’t you?” he asked, just to be sure.

Changbin looked at Chan in panic.

“It’s okay.” Chan said. “Why didn’t you say anything? We all know he has a crush on you. I’m sure you’re aware of it as well.”

Changbin nodded. He seemed so sad but also so relieved to be able to talk about this with someone else. Chan knew how keeping a secret could eat you up. He also has his fair amount of secrets.

“So why didn’t you confess to him? Why did you push him away?” Chan asked, with a sweet voice.

A tear was seen going down Changbin’s left cheek. He quickly wiped it with the sleeve of his shirt.

“Dating among the members or even just dating in general is prohibited by the company and you know that.” Changbin said with a pained look. “A normal dating scandal can already ruin someone’s career, let alone if it’s between two guys… I’m just too afraid.”

Chan felt that frustration. He knew that if he was ever to date a guy, in this industry… He would be risking everything. His entire life basically. One photo or even just a rumor and that’s it. That’s all it takes be hated by an entire country, to have your whole career ruined and your training wasted.

He could understand why Changbin was so hesitant.

“Felix gave up an entire life in Australia for this. He came here all alone and suffered so much to debut…” Changbin continued. “With me, it’s simpler. Music is my life, sure, but I still have my family here who supports me. Besides us, Felix has no one.”

Chan could hear the other rapper sob slightly. His words were becoming slurred, but he kept going either way.

“You know that his family is not supportive of his dream. I don’t want him to have to face them after failing… because of me. I don’t want to ruin his dreams.”

Chan stood up and sat down again beside Changbin. He put his arm around the other boy and softly rubbed his hand up and down his back. Changbin started sobbing almost immediately after. Chan could feel how frustrated he felt about this and how he had been hurting from keeping it all in for so long.

He didn’t know what to say to him. What kind of advice should he give him? Should he encourage Changbin to confess to Felix so the two would be together? Should he agree with Changbin and tell him that it would be too risky to begin a relationship with the freckled boy? Either way, they would get hurt.

Chan stayed silent until the smaller boy stopped crying, and after he thought the rapper had already calmed down, he took a deep breath.

“I’ll be honest with you, Bin.” He began saying. “I don’t really know what kind of advice I should give you. I don’t know if I should tell you to go forward or not. But I can tell you something. It doesn’t matter what decision you take; I’ll be there to help you two. If you decided to confess to Felix and begin a relationship with him, then I will do my best to protect you two. If you choose the other option… I will do my best to make you feel better.”

Changbin looked at him with sad eyes.

“It’s such a hard decision.” He said.

Chan took him into another hug.

“It really is.” He admitted. “But I’m afraid I can’t make it for you. You’re going to have to decide this on your own, buddy.”

Chan didn’t sleep well that night. He kept thinking about what Changbin had said. About how someone’s whole career could be ruined by a simple dating scandal.

Wasn’t this so unfair? Why did people have to choose between love and their dreams? Why couldn’t them have both. What’s so terrible about dating anyway? It’s just love. It’s so normal. People want to be loved in some way. It’s human nature.

Then why is it so terrible when a celebrity falls in love? Why is it so bad when two people of the same sex fall in love? Love should never be terrible.

He was so tired of how this society worked. How the world worked. Why couldn’t people just mind their own business and let other people be happy? He really wished he lived in a world where Changbin wouldn’t have to fear for their future because he fell in love with someone. He wished he lived in a world where he could write songs about the person he loved. A world where he wouldn’t be so damn afraid of loving at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long ass wait guys, i'm sure some of yall thought I would never update this fic again, but I'M BACK, i was just too busy to write, sorry

The next day was quite a mess to be honest. They were supposed to have a free day and enjoy their private lives and rest as much as they wanted, but obviously, that wasn’t the case.

Most of the members were already too stressed, so giving them one single free day wasn’t going to suddenly make them relax in the first place, but Felix could see that some of them didn’t even try to relax in the slightlest.

Chan, of course didn’t stay home, per usual. He barely ate breakfast, before going straight to the studio to work on some music. Jisung woke up a bit later but he still left the house without talking to anyone. Changbin said he would go home to visit his parents and would probably be back only at night.

The rest of the members, who didn’t have planes already, were scattered around the living room. Seungmin and Hyunjin were watching some TV show, Jeongin was on his phone, ignoring everyone. Minho was on his computer watching some videos on YouTube, mostly about dancing, and Woojin was simply sitting on the couch, in complete silent. He didn’t seem to be paying attention to the program that was on TV, he was most likely just zoning out.

Felix was basically on his own. Sure, there was a time — that was not even that long ago, where he would ignore everyone around him, but they were supposed to be okay now, and he misses them going out together to eat or do something fun on free days. Now everyone’s stressed and tired to do that and Felix feels kind of lonely.

He really wanted to have some excuse to go out with his friends, especially Changbin. He misses them.

Felix saw Chan going to Changbin’s room last night, so he figured the leader had talked to him about how the rapper had been ignoring Felix, but nothing seemed to change.

Changbin was even ignoring his texts lately.

Soon, Felix got bored, and with boredom comes thinking about things he usually doesn’t. Like what had started the whole coming out thing.

Right there, in the middle of the living room, while his friends were sitting next to him on the couch, he could feel his cock start twitching in interest at the memories of fingering. He could still feel how his the skin of his hole was sensitive and how frustrated he felt after realizing he couldn’t reach his prostate.

He stared at his fingers, that were laid out over his thighs. They were very short indeed. But maybe... he could use something else. If his fingers weren’t going to work, then he needed to get creative.

Some part of his mind knew sticking random objects in his asshole was a bad idea, but he was still too afraid of buying sex toys. It would be even more embarrassed if the members found out now, because that would mean he still thinks about it, despite what happened.

Going out to buy a sex toy in person was absolutely out of question. Even wearing a mask, he’s pretty sure someone could still recognize him. So, how about no.

So... he needed to find something around the dorm that could potentially fit inside him.

He got up from the couch and left the living room silently.

He searched around in the kitchen first. He didn’t really know what he was looking for, just something that could maybe work. Anything safe, at least.

What if...? No! That’s disgusting. Nope.

Felix then went to his room. He seriously couldn’t think of anything that could work. He looked around his room for some time until he had a sudden thought. It could work. He just needed to be careful.

Felix looked around his desk and found his hairbrush. The handle was long enough and it wasn’t too thick. Maybe. But using it like this was a bit disgusting, so he also searched for a condom, he knew that Chan had some. The leader didn’t really use them, but he was always very precautious.

Felix found one hidden away in the closet and tried to arrange everything. It was still pretty early and he didn’t think he needed to worry about the other members coming home soon. Chan was probably going to stay in the studio for the rest of the day, like he usually does, and Woojin seemed to want to spend some times with the other members in the living room.

He tried to organize his bed a little bit, because it was a mess and had way too many dirty clothes over it. He then got the tiny bottle of lube he kept hidden on his backpack and got on the bed.

He was definitely nervous to do this.

Maybe using something that wasn’t meant to be up there wasn’t a good idea after all. What if he ended up hurting himself? That would be very embarrassing to explain to the doctor or to the other members.

This was such a bad idea.

But he was still going to do it anyway because he was a horny and lonely idol with no one to mess around with.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to relax and get in the mood. His hands wandered over the skin on his abdomen with light touches. A shiver went down his spine when he slightly let his fingers touch his nipples. Felix could feel his soft cock finally starting to harden and take interest in his current activities.

He let his hands get closer to the waist-band of his pants, still not letting himself get into his trousers just yet. Felix wanted to tease himself a little bit before actually touching his cock fully.

His fingers started slightly pressing his dick over the pants, not letting the touch linger for too long, just enough to feel the tiniest amount of pleasure. A small breathy moan came out of his mouth, but he remembered that he wasn’t alone at the dorm, and decided to put his other hand over his mouth.

Doing that, somehow, only made him feel even hornier. The thought of getting caught sending just the right amount of adrenaline through his system and making him want to whine louder.

With his eyes closed, he let his imagination wander. He could imagine that he wasn’t alone and that his hand was someone else’s. Maybe even someone he knew. Maybe it could be Changbin’s hand.

It was all in his head anyway, it couldn’t be that bad, right?

In his imagination, Changbin was now the one teasing him over his pants and touching him, making him let out the prettiest whines. He could feel himself release more precum, making his underwear wet. Changbin had this mischievous smile on his face and Felix could only feel himself get harder, if it was still possible at this point.

He finally moved his hand into his underwear and let himself touch his hard member, which was already wet and pink all over.

Just like his hands, his dick wasn’t exactly big, but it wasn’t that small either. It was below average, but he didn’t care much about it to be honest. It still did it’s job pretty well.

He felt hot all over and decided to take his trousers off finally, letting the pieces of clothing slide down his legs and hit the floor with a soft sound. He then proceeded to get the bottle of lube that was placed beside his bed and opened it. He coated his fingers with a bit of the liquid and let them rest around his member until it become warm.

The freckled boy started sliding his hand very slowly at first, while he kept imagining the rapper. He was now holding his bed sheets with one hand, while biting on his lip to keep quiet. He barely felt the sting of his teeth cutting the skin.

The pleasure he was feeling was so great and he had been holding back for so long. His whole body felt sensitive to the touch and Felix could almost feel Changbin’s hands on his waist, keeping him from moving too much.

It was such a cliche. To be masturbating while imagining his straight friend. He knew that if he wasn’t so high on the pleasure right now, he would find the whole thing quite cringey. 

But it was Changbin. And Felix was so so horny. He just needed to have this moment to himself. The plans for the comeback had been stressing him so much.

Before he could let himself go, he took his hand of his cock and tried to catch his breath for a few seconds. He could feel the sweat on his chest and belly, but he didn’t care too much about it for now.

He grabbed the bottle of lube again and put more of the liquidy substance onto his fingers, while rubbing them against one another to warm it up.

He took a long breath and guided his hand to his crotch, but going even further, behind his balls.

His twitched when he felt the liquid against the sensitive skin. He didn’t feel any pleasure yet, but the adrenaline of the moment was as exciting as the first time he did it.

He rubbed the tip of his index finger on the surface, teasing it a little, and as he felt himself relax into the foreign feeling, Felix inserted the first finger into himself. He barely could feel the stretch, so it didn’t take long for him to insert another one. This time, he could definitely feel the pressured on his fingers and some resistance, but he didn’t feel any pain which was good. The lube also made the whole thing much easier.

The kept moving his fingers and stretching them, so the muscles could relax some more. He definitely felt pleasure from it, but it wasn’t enough and, just like the last time, he felt frustrated about not being able to reach his sweet spot.

He started wondering if this would be the right time to play around with the hairbrush, but he still felt quite embarrassed about the thought of putting something like that inside him.

He didn’t have to think much more about that though, as he heard the sound of the doorknob being turned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the cliffhanger but I couldn't help it, I'm already writing the next chapter so don't worry hehehe


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is quite exciting actually, this is where the nasty shit starts hehehe

He didn’t have time to think about the fact that he hadn’t locked the door, he just stood there, like an idiot, with two fingers up his ass, while someone came into the room.

The someone being the person he was most afraid of finding him in this manner. Changbin.

Of course it had to be him. He was just so damn lucky.

After everything that was happening with Changbin ignoring him after he had accidentally come out, it had to be him to find Felix fingering himself. Why was his life so damn stupid like this?

After seeing the boy’s expression of absolute terror on his face, Felix suddenly felt himself being able to move again. He took his fingers out and tried his best to cover his own body with his blankets. It didn’t do much of course, since Changbin had already seen everything there was to see anyway.

“Shit, sorry!” said the rapper, completely shocked at what he had just seen. Felix saw how the boy’s face started to blush. “I didn’t mean to walk in, I just... I didn’t know. Sorry again. I’m... leaving.”

And just like that, Felix was left alone again. He didn’t know what to do. He was so embarrassed.

He liked to fantasize about getting caught in those situations, but those thoughts were just that. Fantasies, nothing more.

And it had to be Changbin out of everyone! Not only Changbin had been acting weird with him after he found out Felix was gay, but he was also the one that Felix had been fantasying about during this whole time. How was he supposed to look at the other boy’s face again? He’d die of embarrassment.

He tried to recollect himself as best as he could. He cleaned himself with his sheets, promising to wash them tonight, and put his clothes back on. His hair was probably still a mess but he didn’t care much right now.

Felix wondered if he should come out of the room right now and see if Changbin had already told anyone about what he had seen. But he was too nervous. He couldn’t face him or any of the members like that.

But he also needed to take a shower. A cold one. Since his dick was still pretty hard despite everything.

Felix walked out of the room with slow and careful steps. He was expecting the members to waiting for him to come out to try to explain himself or to make fun of him.

But instead, all he saw, was Chan talking to someone on the phone and the other members watching TV in the living room. Changbin was nowhere to be found and no one seemed to be surprised or judgemental when they looked at him.

Actually, Chan even smiled at him and motioned for him to come closer. He soon finished talking in the phone and turned to face Felix.

“I ordered some food. I thought you were asleep, but I still ordered some pizza for you.” he said.

So, Changbin hadn’t said anything about what he saw then... Interesting.

“I was, earlier, but I heard you guys talking and decided to get up.” he lied, trying to maintain his voice stable. He knew Chan wouldn’t judge him if he knew, but it would still be embarrassing. “So how was at the studio? Did you finish any songs?”

Chan went silent and Felix could see pink tones spreading on his cheeks and neck. Felix didn’t ask about it.

“I didn’t.” the leader answered. “I just tried to work on some lyrics though.”

Felix nodded with a smile, trying to act as if he hadn’t noticed Chan’s odd behavior. Felix also had his secrets and didn’t feel like being questioned about it either. He could understand if Chan didn’t want to say anything about it.

Felix decided to go grab some water, before going to the bathroom. He feeling quite tired from his previous activities.

As he walked into the kitchen he saw Changbin, resting his face against the refrigerator as he breathed heavily.

“Changbin?” Felix questioned, carefully. He was worried that the rapper would end up screaming at him or acting even weirder than he was already. “I’m sorry for what you saw...” he started talking but was soon interrupted.

“Don’t apologize!” Changbin said hurriedly, as he turned around to face the younger boy. “It was my fault, I walked in without any warning when it’s not even my room, and ended up seeing you... like that.”

He looked sincerely guilty, so Felix assumed there was no danger in the situation. Maybe, Changbin wouldn’t actually tell anyone or get mad at him.

“It’s not your fault.” said Felix. “I just should’ve been more careful. I was reckless. I live with other people, and they don’t need to see me... in that way. I’m sorry.”

Changbin still seemed awkward and wasn’t looking at Felix’s face. To be honest, he didn’t seem to be looking at anything but the floor right now.

“Do you... hate me now?” he asked, still worried. “Maybe you feel uncomfortable around me now that you know I’m... gay and all... I don’t blame you if you do.”

Hearing this, Changbin then suddenly shot his head up, staring at the freckled boy in front of him with wide eyes.

“No!” he said. “I don’t care about that, Felix. It’s okay, really. I don’t feel uncomfortable around you because you’re gay. And I would never hate you, Felix.” Changbin sounded sincere and he had this look in his eyes. Felix didn’t really understand what it meant. I was just... different. “You’re my friend.”

Those words. They really did hurt. He didn’t want Changbin to be his friend. He wanted more. And even though he knew that would never happen, it still hurt to hear Changbin conforming that fact.

“I’m happy to hear that.” Felix said and then walked away, heading to the bathroom.

After showering, Felix went back to his room, with a towel around his waist. But when he opened the door, he noticed he wasn’t alone in the room. Changbin was also there, holding a box. It looked like it had came in the mail.

“This is for you.” the rapper said. “I bought it a week ago or so. I thought you you would like it.”

He said that, got up and left the room, passing by Felix in the process. The freckled boy couldn’t help but notice how Changbin avoided looking at him. Specifically, his chest.

After he heard the sound of the door closing behind him, Felix walked to the bed, where Changbin had left the box. It wasn’t very big, maybe the same size of a show box. Through the package, Felix had no idea what could be inside.

He sat down on the bed and grabbed the box, trying to find a way to open it. He ripped the tape at the top and was met with wrapping plastic and some pieces of paper. At this point, he couldn’t take any guesses on what Changbin could’ve bought for him.

He unwrapped the paper and the plastic and saw what kind of gift the rapper had gotten for him.

Felix was shocked, to say the least.

It was a pink dildo.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes, I'm too lazy to revise this

Felix was completely shocked. Changbin had just gifted him a dildo. And not a very small one, to be honest. It was rather smooth and unrealistic looking. It looked more like a vibrator then a dildo, but Felix couldn’t see any indication that it could vibrate.

This didn’t feel like reality. Why would Changbin give him a dildo as a gift? Was he mocking him? Or... did he actually wanted Felix to use it.

That could mean a whole lot more than maybe Changbin had intended. That also meant that not only was Changbin not disgusted by him being gay, he could be thinking about it. The other members had also found out about Felix being gay because they found that web page on his computer, but none of them seemed to want to even talk about the whole dildo thing with Felix, let alone buy one for him.

Changbin had acted differently than the rest of the members. Maybe... he also felt different, as well.

Felix wanted to test that theory out.

He put the dildo back into the box and decided to hide it under his bed. Chan and Woojin never looked through his things, so he didn’t really have to worry about any of the two finding it anyway.

Felix then got dressed and walked to the kitchen. He was very hungry after everything that had happened, and the food that Chan had ordered had probably already been delivered.

As he stepped into the living room, Felix saw that Chan was talking to Changbin and got nervous. Was he telling their leader about Felix’s recent activities? Was he telling Chan about the gift? No. He probably wouldn’t do that. He would also be exposing himself if he did.

Chan then looked at Felix and smiled.

“Hey! The pizza is on the kitchen table.” he said. “It just got here, we’re only waiting for Jisung to finish his shower.”

Felix nodded and sat down next to Changbin on the couch, sensing the boy immediately tense next to him. The freckled boy had to hold in a smile, seeing how the rapper was reacting to him. Felix wanted to cause more reactions like that.

“Changbin.” he said with a malicious smile in his face. “Thanks.”

The rapper stared at him wide eyed, but then turned his face and tried to act like he didn’t know anything.

“What for?” the older boy asked, with a quiet voice.

Felix smiled once more, trying to look innocent this time.

“You know.”

Chan then coughed, interrupting. He looked rather uncomfortable. Felix suspected he knew that something was up with the two boys beside him.

“I’m gonna go check up on the others...” he quickly said and then left to the kitchen.

Felix turned to Changbin once more.

“I meant it.” said Felix. “Thank you for the gift. I’ll use it well.”

The rapper’s face flushed bright pink after hearing those words from Felix, who just smiled in return and walked away to the kitchen, following Chan.

After that, Changbin started getting flushed around Felix a lot more. Instead of getting awkward around Felix and ignoring him, the rapper would always talk to him with a pink color all over his cheeks. Felix didn’t know that’s how things would turn out between them and when he decided to test his theory, but he sure liked it.

Felix didn’t actually use the dildo until two weeks after receiving it from Changbin. The comeback was schedule to happen in 3 days and they had been given a free day to rest before going back to work. Most of the members had left the dorm and went out to eat. Felix had also been invited by Jisung, but he refused, saying that he was tired and wanted to rest.

The minute the members left the dorm, Felix ran to his room. He finally had some alone time to play with his new toy. He even had cleaned and prepared himself in the shower earlier, so he wouldn’t have to waste any time.

He laid down the bed, and started touching himself, slightly, to get into the mood. He kept his strokes light and slow, to tease himself. He liked that. And soon enough his cock was already hard and leaking.

Felix then lowered his hand, letting his fingers touch his hole. It was still stretched and wet from before, so he didn’t feel any pain from inserting two fingers at once this time. It felt good, but still frustrating. He opened his fingers to stretch himself even more, since the dildo wasn’t exactly small.

He kept doing that for a few minutes, until he was painting and desperate. He needed more. His fingers weren’t enough, just like the other times he’d done this.

He looked for the new toy on his bed. He had unpacked and cleaned it as well, making sure it was good to be used. He also grabbed the bottle of lube that came with it, a much better one than the brand he had been using before. It was water based so he could use it with condoms and there wasn’t any risk of them tearing because of the friction.

He didn’t want to use a condom now though. There was also no need for one as well.

Felix coated the object with lube and then put some on his fingers as well. He then spread it over his hole.

The freckled boy took a deep breath before guiding the dildo to his hole, through between his legs. He was laying on his back, so he couldn’t really see what was happening down there, but at this point, he already knew the exact location.

Felix’s cock twitched when the tip of the dildo brushed over the sensitive skin of his hole. He also felt the muscle open and close a few times, as if it wanted to be penetrated sooner.

When he felt the tip enter him, he let a breathy moan out, it was so thick. He had prepared himself very well, but he had never put something so big inside. He didn’t feel pain, it was more a sensation of discomfort, but nothing too strong. He knew that it also wouldn’t last for long. Felix only needed to take his time with it and his body would eventually get used to the feeling of being filled with something so thick.

He kept on sliding the dildo in, while trying to relax his muscles even more. Small sounds kept coming out of his mouth. He continued until most of it was inside, but the end, which was were he was holding it with one hand.

He felt so full. The discomfort was still there, but Felix also felt pleasure. Even the though of being filled like this made his dick twitch. After a few seconds, he tried to move the object just a little bit and felt that he was ready for some action, he just needed to do it slowly.

Felix started moving the dildo in and out of himself, building a slow pace. He felt pleasure from just the sensation of something inside but he still couldn’t seem to find his prostate, so started going faster and deeper, which made him moan loudly.

He also noticed the discomfort wasn’t there anymore. His hole was still tight but there was no resistance, so he started moving faster as well. His moans were louder now and much less breathy. He couldn’t recognize his voice anymore, this new voice was often very high pitched. It was very different from his normal deep voice. Felix quite liked that.

Suddenly, he felt his back arch and pleasure going through all of his body. The sounds he was making were straight out of porn. He felt incredible and wondered if he had finally reached his sweet spot. After he could move again, he started moving the dildo again, trying to hit that spot more times.

After a few tries, Felix finally found the right angle and was able to keep pressing on the bundle of nerves over and over. His cries could probably be heard by all his members if they were here. At this point he didn’t even care if he was being too loud. To be honest, he couldn’t actually even hear his own voice anymore, he could only just feel himself scream.

Everything was so good, he couldn’t hold still. He kept moving around so much on the bed, that it started moving as well.

Felix could feel himself get closer by every second. He just needed a little more, just something to trigger. So he pushed the dildo onto his prostate and kept it there, while he felt the best orgasm of his life hit him hard.

The freckled boy couldn’t remember feeling this good ever before. His whole body felt ecstatic and he knew his legs were twitching just as much as his cock, which kept pulsing and releasing more come out of him with a every wave of pleasure.

But after a while, he finally started to calm down and his breathing got slower. Felix could finally open his eyes and see the mess he had made out of his own body. Come was all over his abdomen, mixed with sweat. His cock was going soft again, but it stayed pink and shiny with wetness.

Felix slowed took the dildo out of himself, while breathing hard. Once it was out, he laid still once more, trying to calm his breath. The feeling of being covered in his own come was starting to bother him but he still felt very much in shock.

He had never felt this feeling before. Of being in such pure ecstasy.

Suddenly, an idea crossed his head.

Felix searched for his phone and opened the camera application, focusing on his stomach. He knew this could go very wrong, but he wasn’t in his right mind at the moment. His thoughts were lustful and he could only think of impure things. And this was surely one of them.

He took a picture of his belly, covered in come and sweat and sent it Changbin in a private chat. With the picture, he wrote: “I used it well, thank you.”

Felix didn’t wait for the response and went to take a shower.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a changbin pov

Changbin stared at his phone in complete shock. Felix had sent him a picture. A very explicit one and a text that implied he had just used the gift.

But he already knew that. Because he had been in his room the whole time, and he could hear every little moan and wet sound that came from the other side of the wall.

Did Felix know he was here and that he heard, and that’s why he had sent such picture? Did he do it _because_ he knew Changbin was here? Should he wait for everyone to come back to come out of his room? That way he could act as if he went out with them and was just coming back as well. Should he lie altogether?

It’s not like he had the courage to face the freckled boy now.

Not after jerking off while hearing him moan...

At first, he hadn’t known what was happening. Didn’t even recognize Felix’s voice. But then, when he remembered who was the only member beside him who had decided to stay, he couldn’t help it.

He really tried not thinking about it and ignoring it, but as he kept listening to the boy and thinking of how he probably looked like at that moment, it was only logical that he would feel his dick getting hard.

This wasn’t the first time he had gotten a boner because of Felix, but it was the first time that it wasn’t because of pure imagination. This was real. Those moans were coming from the real Felix. And oh, how he was loving the way Felix sounded when fucking himself. His voice was very different from his normal deep one. Changbin couldn’t help but imagine it was him who was fucking Felix, not some toy.

Changbin knew that he could do well. Could make Felix feel good. If he’d let him.

The rapper came before Felix. He wanted to do it together, but couldn’t hold in for long enough. Felix sounded so hot, so how could he?

And then, when Changbin was just laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, he heard his phone vibrate, which startled him. He grabbed the device and saw that it was a message from Felix.

Changbin didn’t know what to expect when he opened that message. He knew Felix had sent this just after getting off, a thought that kept making Changbin’s mind hazy.

The picture was not what he had been expecting. Ok, maybe he fantasized that Felix would be sending him such thing, but he didn’t actually think the boy would do it.

Staring at the photo, Changbin noticed that Felix had come a lot. From the sounds he had been making, it must have felt really good. The imagine in his phone was the confirmation for that. So he did enjoy getting fucked this much. The thought of fucking Felix would probably never leave his mind now.

Still, he was scared. Changbin really wanted Felix, he did! But, the thought of the boy being punished because of some sort of relationship between the two, still made him feel bad.

Maybe he shouldn’t have given Felix the gift after all. It made things different. He should’ve just ignored it and tried to hide his feelings better. He acted bold for one second and now he could ruin everything.

But, that was already done. He couldn’t change the past, so since they were already here, might as well, keep going, right?

Changbin grabbed his phone once again, and started writing the words out: “I could tell you enjoyed it by your screams”, and then hit send. He must have finally gone crazy.

But that’s what Felix does to him. He can’t think logically when he’s with him. The only that comes to mind is that Changbin wants Felix.

He got out of the room, trying to not make any noise. Felix was still in the shower. That meant the he still didn’t know Changbin was here. The rapper went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. The group hadn’t gone grocery shopping these days, so there wasn’t many options.

Changbin settled with a simple soup ramen and some kimchi. Felix would probably be starving after... So, Changbin should make something yummy for him. He was seasoning the kimchi when he heard the shower stop. Soon Felix would see his message and realize that Changbin had heard everything.

The rapper kept on cooking though, as if nothing was happening. He didn’t want Felix to feel bad or unsafe in any way. He wanted the boy to feel open and welcomed, so he tried to stay calm, even though what he truly wanted to do was nothing calm nor quiet.

He could hear Felix gasp from the kitchen, that meant that the boy didn’t know Changbin had stayed at the dorm with him, and ended up hearing everything.

It must have been quite a shock, but Changbin would make sure he felt okay.

He heard the door to Felix’s room open suddenly and the hard steps coming in his direction. He felt nervous for the upcoming conversation, but tried not to show it on his expression.

“How much did you hear?” asked Felix in a small voice. He sounded insecure.

Changbin turned around to look at him and gave him a smile. The nice facade didn’t match the situation at all, but for some reason, Changbin thought this would be the right reaction.

“I heard everything.” he said, walking closer to Felix and taking his hand. “You must be tired. Come and sit down. I’m making you some food. You need to eat after all of that.”

The expression on Felix’s face was unreadable. He looked absolutely shocked, but also confused, and also something Changbin couldn’t really tell. But, Changbin was expecting something like that. It must have been surprising.

Either way, the young boy sat down on the chair closest to Changbin. The rapper, then, turned to the food and kept on cooking, trying to prepare everything fast, so Felix could eat soon.

“About the picture...” Felix started saying, but was interrupted.

“I liked it.” Changbin said, in a sudden boldness. “It was unexpected. I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing, but it was good to see how much you enjoyed my gift.”

A gasp was heard behind him.

“I plan on giving you many enjoyable things in the future as well.” Changbin said, with a smile on his face, even though Felix couldn’t see it.

After that, he served the food and sat down next to Felix. The boy’s face was a bright pink hue. It made Changbin excited. He liked seeing Felix like that. He wondered if he looked like that when he was fucking himself. Did his dick look just as pink as his face? That would probably look so cute. Did Felix also had freckled down there as well?

He kept thinking about these things while watching Felix eat the food he had prepared.

Changbin wanted to know the answers to those questions. At this point, he didn’t care anymore. He just wanted Felix. They just needed to be careful and it would be fine.

They spend the rest of the day together, although Felix looked too shy to actually say anything to him. It was obvious by his expression that he liked spending time with Changbin.

After eating, the two of them decided to watch a movie on the couch. Changbin had sent a message to Chan asking him to keep the boys out for a while. He gave the excuse that he would talk to Felix about the whole ignoring thing.

It wasn’t all a lie. He did plan on talking to Felix... But after doing something else.

They were both on the sofa, watching the movie quietly. At least, Felix was watching it. Changbin was paying more attention to the young boy’s thighs. They weren’t sitting that further apart from each other. Changbin could just extend his arm if he wanted to touch Felix right now.

But he wanted to tease the boy a little, so he only moved closer, still acting as if he was interested in the movie. He could feel Felix’s gaze on him, but ignored it. Soon, he turned to the TV again, and Changbin was able to do what he wanted.

The smaller boy leaned his body a little bit, getting closer to Felix and let his hand fall on his thigh, just above the knee. He heard Felix breath hard, but pretended to not hear anything. He kept his eyes on the screen in front of him, even when Felix would look at him. He could tell the boy was both confused and excited about the closeness between them.

Changbin felt Felix’s breathing stop when he brought his hand up on his thigh. He started massaging the area subtly, but enough to make Felix nervous apparently. He liked the effect he was having on the younger boy. Changbin liked to know what Felix was so sensitive to his touches.

His hand then went even closer to his hips, on his inner thigh. He kept massaging and grabbing the skin there over the boy’s shorts. Changbin could already see the small bulge forming inside Felix’s pants. It was cute how Felix was already reacting to such light touches.

“What are you doing?” asked Felix, with a shaking voice.

Changbin looked at him with an innocent smile.

“Your muscles must be sore.” he said. “After fucking yourself so hard.”

Felix’s face went bright red after that. He also turned his face away. Changbin could almost hear his thoughts racing.

“You probably wouldn’t feel so sore right if someone else had done all the effort for you.” the rapper knew he was being way to forward right now, but they didn’t have that much time until the members came back.

Changbin then started moving his hand again, aiming for Felix’s crotch. He could feel the boy’s hard member through the fabric.

“You seem to be enjoying this.” Changbin said. “Aren’t you a naughty little thing? You already got off today and you’re looking for a second round?”

Changbin himself didn’t know he had it in him to talk that way to Felix. But it just excited him so much, seeing how Felix was already hard just from this. And how he seemed to like the way Changbin was talking to him. He never thought such a innocent looking boy would be so dirty.

Felix trying closing his legs, so Changbin wouldn’t be able to touch him. He was so sensitive...

“I’ll stop if you tell me to.” he said, but then grabbed the boy’s member harder. “But I know you won’t.”

Felix let out a breathy moan. Changbin never thought he would be able to hear that in front of him. Felix looked even better than he had imagined. His cheeks were flushed and his mouth slightly open.

Changbin couldn’t hold in any longer and close the distance between their lips. The kiss startled Felix at first but it didn’t take long for him to start moving as well. It started as a gentle touch, but as Changbin kept his hand on the boy’s crouch, Felix started getting more desperate and needy, and that showed in the kiss.

The freckled boy started moving his lips faster and messier, while also letting out small whimpers every time Changbin would move his hand a little bit.

“Please...” Felix said in the middle of a moan.

Changbin separated himself from Felix, only to move his hand into the boy’s pants. The younger boy gasped at that, with closed eyes. Changbin noticed how damp the boy’s underwear already was.

“You’re so wet already.” he said in a cocky tone. “And I barely touched you.”

But then he heard the front door’s handle being open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliffhanger again, but at this point you should know I like doing that hehehe


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda short, but it's minsung so it's good

Jisung knew that they shouldn’t be doing this. Specially not here of all places. Not in a restaurant’s bathroom. And not with a member of his group. A boy. But he couldn’t help it. This happened every time he drank. He couldn’t control himself and the both of them would always end up in the same position. With Jisung on his knees in front of Minho.

They’ve done a few times already. It was silly, because they both knew they shouldn’t do it and agreed to stop, but they would always find themselves doing it again.

But Minho probably wasn’t thinking about any of that right now. Not with his dick in Jisung’s mouth.

Jisung looked up to see Minho’s expression. He had this eyes closed and his eyebrows were forming a frown, like he was concentrating. He also had one of his hands over his mouth. Jisung had been the one who suggested he did that. He knew how loud Minho could be.

But they were in public right now. And most of his members were just in the room next door, without knowing anything. It was best if they didn’t, since this could ruin everyone’s career.

Fucking around with one of your members wasn’t unheard of, but it was certainly looked upon, so they had to keep the whole thing a secret, even from his own friends. At least, for now.

Before starting this whole thing with Minho, he never knew he was so into giving someone head. He also never he knew he didn’t have a very sensitive gag reflex. Which seemed to make Minho very happy.

Just like he was right now. Jisung always knew he was good at these things, because he experienced a few times before meeting with the members and debuting. But he never knew he could have such an effect on someone. Minho always looked at him afterwards as if Jisung was some fort of angel. Or maybe a pretty devil...

They never got very far, besides from handjobs, blowjobs and grinding on each other while making out. It was the most they could do after all. They didn’t have much time or privacy to do any more than that.

They never established what kind of relationship they had. But Jisung liked to think that they were dating. They did everything boyfriends did. They kissed and cuddled and sucked each other’s dicks... But they never talk about that. They just keep doing it.

As Minho kept moving his hips more and more, Jisung could tell he was getting close to coming. He always liked this part. Being able to taste Minho was always enjoyable for him. He didn’t know if it was one of his kinks or if it was just because it was Minho.’s come.

As the hands on his hair started to tighten their grip, Jisung started moving faster and swallowing deeper, causing the older boy above him to moan against his hand, but soon he controlled himself once again and there was only the wet sounds coming from Jisung’s mouth.

The rapper felt the hand on his hair tap two times. That was the signal they used for “I’m gonna come”, when they needed to be quite. Minho was the one to suggest this. Jisung found it stupid at first, but now he could see the it was very useful.

He stopped his movements, but kept on sucking. That was enough to bring Minho over the edge, since he was already almost there anyway.

Jisung felt the warm and thick liquid substance hit his tongue and go down his throat. He didn’t really enjoy the taste, but he liked the idea of having a part of Minho inside of him in that way. It turned him on to know that he was the only one that could do this and be able to taste Minho.

After Minho was done coming, Jisung pulled his mouth away, but not before licking the tip, to make sure he had swallowed every bit of it. Minho shivered at that, due to his sensitivity.

Looking up, he gave Minho a smile. The boy was also looking at him, through his drowsy lids. He had this soft blush all over his cheeks and neck. His lips were also a dark shade of pink. Jisung always loved to see him like this. He looked absolutely beautiful. Jisung always thought the dancer was very attractive, but he looked otherworldly like this. And Jisung took pride in knowing he was the only who could see this now.

Like this a private show and Jisung was the only guest.

They both opened their mouth to say something to each other, but were interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by their leader’s voice.

“Hey, Jisung, is Minho okay in there?”

Jisung got up in a panic and tried making himself look presentable.

“Yeah, he’s okay. Just drunk.” his voice sounded hoarse, but he hoped Chan thought that was just from drinking too much beer, not because he had his mouth full of dick a minute ago.

“Okay,” he heard Chan speak once again. “Then when you’re ready, we can go home, so Minho can go to bed.”

Jisung agreed with a hum and waited for the sound of Chan’s steps walking further away from the door. Then he turned to face Minho.

“Okay, so when we come out, try to look drunk.” Jisung said, in all seriousness.

Minho only smiled at him.

“I am drunk.” he said.

The rapper face-palmed.

“Then look drunker!”

In the way home, Minho ended up sleeping on Jisung’s shoulder the whole van ride. He was tired, specially after what had happened in the bathroom.

Jisung stared at Minho’s face. The dancer was sleeping so soundly, so relaxed. Jisung liked seeing him like that as well. To be honest, there were many times were Jisung found Minho endearing to look at. This was probably because it was Minho.

He looked away, and into the night sky through the window.

He was supposed to feel like this. The whole thing was supposed to be just a sex thing. They were supposed to get off and not get attached. But how could he not? It was Minho. How could anyone ever not feel anything towards him? Jisung wasn’t any different. He fell for him. Even when he knew he shouldn’t have.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay, I know yall have been waiting for this so here it is I guess

Felix panicked when he heard the door. He also could hear Chan’s voice from outside, complaining about something.

Felix looked at Changbin shocked and without knowing what to do. But in the next second, the smaller boy was pulling on his arm and running to his room. Felix wanted to remind him that Chan was one of his roommates, but Changbin put his hand over his mouth so he couldn’t say anything.

Felix was pushed against the door and couldn’t move or speak. This shouldn’t have turned him on.

When he saw the mischievousness smile on the rapper’s face, he knew that it was too late. Changbin already had noticed Felix’s sudden interest and guided him towards the bed, while still telling him to stay quiet. Changbin laid down on his side and manhandled Felix into doing the same, keeping his their bodies facing the door. The older rapper then grabbed Felix’s blanket and set it over them both, up until their necks.

The freckled boy knew where this was going and he also knew this could be a terrible idea, but the excitement growing in his lower stomach told him to be quiet and just enjoy it.

And just as he was suspecting, he felt Changbin’s hand touch the skin on his stomach, bringing him closer. He let out a gasp when he felt the hard on press on his lower back. His dick twitched because of the thought of making Changbin like this. Felix arched his back slightly, making his ass stick out a little and press on Changbin’s boner, over their clothes.

He heard a breathy moan come out of his friend behind him and that only motivated Felix to keep going, moving his hips on a slow rhythm. Felix felt Changbin’s lips on his neck, slightly kissing at first, but soon he started to bite and suck on Felix’s skin. He knew this would leave marks, but he couldn’t be bothered to stop now. It felt so good.

But then the door opened, and Chan walked in. Felix closed his eyes and Changbin had stopped kissing his neck. Felix tried to act as if he was asleep, even though he knew it might not have looked very convincing.

“Oh... Hi Changbin.” said the leader. “Is Felix okay?”

There was an air of suspicion on Chan’s tone, but Felix tried to keep a straight face.

But then e felt the hand on his stomach go lower and reach the waistband of his shorts. He almost let his surprise show on his face, but soon remembered that they were being watched. The hand didn’t stop there though, it went even lower and touched his cock over the fabric.

Felix tried really hard to not move his lips or frown when Changbin started jerking his member off over his shorts. Chan was right there by the door. One wrong movement and he would know what they were doing under these blankets.

“Felix was just feeling a bit homesick, so we watched some movies and decided to go to bed.” Changbin explained, maintaining a calm and sweet voice, even though he kept moving his hand on Felix’s dick. Did he want to expose them?

Chan went quiet for a few seconds.

“Are you gonna sleep here then?” the leader asked, his voice still sounded a bit suspicious but since he wasn’t saying anything about it, Felix decided to let that go for now.

Changbin hummed a yes and laid his head back down on the pillow, still acting as if nothing was happening.

Felix heard the door close soon after and finally opened his eyes, thinking that he finally could breathe normally again, but that idea was discarded as soon as he felt Changbin get closer again.

“I know you like this.” he whispered in a low tone, which only turned Felix on even more. “Being watched. I know you do.”

Felix couldn’t say he was wrong. There was definitely something about the risk of getting caught by his friends in these sorts of situations, that excited him. Maybe the humiliation of being so exposed. Or maybe it was the fact that they would see him like he really was, a nasty little thing with an angel mask on.

Changbin then started grinding on him again, and Felix could tell he was rock hard. His dick was big and Felix just couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how would it feel to have that inside of him.

“Please...” he let out without meaning to, followed by breathy moans.

Changbin then laughed lowly.

“What? What do you want me to do?” his voice was deeper than usual. It reminded Felix a lot of his rapping voice.

The rapper’s hand started grabbing Felix’s dick a lot harder, making Felix squirm and moan. He didn’t even notice he was making loud noises until he felt Changbin put a hand over his mouth, shutting him up.

“You want the whole dorm to know about what we’re doing?” he asked firmly. “You want Chris to come in here and see you moaning like you’re my little bitch?”

Felix wanted to say yes. Because he did. But the logical part of him knew that wasn’t what he truly wanted to happen. He was just not thinking clearly right now.

Instead, he shook his head sideways, denying.

“Then, keep quiet for me, baby.” Changbin said. Felix was surprised by the nickname but also aroused by it. “If you’re good, I’m good fuck you, okay?”

Hearing those words come from Changbin made him feel his cock twitch in excitement. Felix had heard Changbin curse a lot around the dorm and in the studio, but this was different. This was a different Changbin. Felix had never seen him like this.

Changbin then pushed his hand into Felix’s underwear and started stimulating Felix’s cock, starting from the very tip. His finger pressed on the slit just slightly, but it was enough to make Felix squirm in Changbin’s arms. He still tried to moan though, like the rapper had ordered.

Changbin kept on grinding on him the entire time and Felix could tell he was also very sensitive, although he was trying to hide it as well. His breathing became very hard and fast. Felix found it incredibly arousing. He then felt Changbin’s fingers start softening their hold on Felix’s mouth, and decided to tease him a little. Felix guided two of Changbin’s fingers into his mouth, sucking on them and getting them wet with saliva.

“If only the members saw you right now.” the boy said. “Sucking on my fingers like you’re sucking on a cock. What a view...”

Felix wanted to moan so badly right now, but he knew he couldn’t. He was trying his best to keep quiet, because the members could hear everything through the door.

And then Changbin took his fingers out of Felix’s mouth.

“Are you still stretched from earlier?” the boy asked him.

His mind started going crazy. Changbin was going to finger him. He couldn’t believe this was the real world. This was too good to be true.

“Yes.” he answered, eagerly. “Please, fuck me.”

Changbin answered by pushing Felix’s shorts and underwear down and guiding his coated fingers towards his back. Soon he felt them touching the sensitive skin of his hole, just teasing the entrance, not really pushing on it. It already felt so good, just having Changbin touching him in such intimate areas like this. The fingers kept on circling around for a bit, getting the area wet, before pushing in, both at the same time.

Felix had been right after all, he was still pretty stretched from his activities earlier that day and the two fingers were able to slide in without much resistance. Changbin moved them slowly, with simple movements, trying to make Felix more adjusted.

But to Felix’s disappointment, he took them out soon after.

“Where’s the lube?” the rapper asked.

Felix searched for it under his bed and passed it onto Changbin’s hand. He opened the bottle with a hurry, coating his fingers with the liquid and rubbing them together, to warm it up. Then guided them to Felix’s entrance, pushing them in slowly. The lube made and slide much easier and Felix let out a breathy moan. Changbin let it slide since it was very quiet.

He moved his friends in a slow but steady pace, while also flexing his fingers inside Felix’s walls. The boy was moving around and Changbin put a hand on his hips, to keep him in place.

“Can you handle another one?” Changbin asked.

Felix turned his head slightly and looked directly at Changbin.

“No need for another finger, just fuck me already.” the freckled boy said, with a low tone.

Changbin didn’t question it. He just took his fingers out and cleaned them on the covers. He turned to Felix.

“Do you have a condom?” he asked. He knew that the both of them were clean, but it was always good to be safe, specially when it was Felix’s first time. At least, he assumed it was.

Felix nodded and grabbed, also from under the bed, and gave it to Changbin, who wasted no time in lowering his pants. He pumped his cock a couple of times and slid the condom on.

“Ready?” he asked, making sure the dancer was okay with everything they were doing.

“Yes, please...” Felix responded, whining. “Just fuck me...”

Changbin couldn’t say no when Felix was asking him in _that_ way, so he positioned himself closer, even hugging Felix with one of his hands, while the other guided his members towards Felix hole. He pushed in very slowly and just the tip at first, so Felix would get used to it.

Changbin’s cock had a very similar size to the dildo he gifted Felix. He chose it for that reason. Deep down he wanted Felix to know how it would feel like to get fucked by Changbin. Of course, at that time, he didn’t expect for it to actually happen, but he was happy it turned out that way.

Since, Felix had used the dildo that morning, his hole didn’t all that much resistance at Changbin’s member. He was slowly going deeper, until he reached the base. The rapper heard Felix let out a breath he must have been holding. He waited a few minutes, while kissing Felix’s neck and teasing his nipples with his fingertips, to make the boy relax.

“Move... Please.” Felix told him when he was ready.

Changbin then pulled back and pushed in again, going deep. It felt so good. Even though his hole had already been fucked this morning, he was still so tight. Changbin had to take deep breathes not to come too early.

His movements started going faster and Felix was staring to let out loud sounds, so Changbin had to put his hand over his mouth once again. Felix grabbed his arm, holding onto it strongly. He didn’t seem to have any intention of pushing Changbin’s hand away from his lips, he just needed something to hold on.

And then his back arched and a moan was muffled by Changbin’s hand. He knew that moment that he had reached Felix’s sweet spot and kept moving, pressing on the bundle of nerves and watching Felix get absolutely ruined by him.

Felix even had tears in his eyes and on his cheeks. At first, he got worried, but Felix started asking for more and more, and he knew that those tears were of pleasure.

Changbin already felt himself getting closer and closer to his limit, but he wanted Felix to finish first. This was his first time and he should be the main character of the night. So Changbin let one of his hands move lower on the boy’s body, reaching his member. He started to stroke it, in steady movements. The response was immediate, Felix whined. More tears coming out of his eyes, making his face shiny and flushed.

Changbin thought he looked absolutely beautiful.

“Come for me, baby.” Changbin told him with a raspy voice.

And Felix did just that. He let out a low whine, filled with pleasure, whine his muscles tensed. His hole also got tighter around Changbin’s cock, which was the final trigger for him to come. They both felt in such ecstasy. Changbin had never felt like this towards another person before, and maybe that’s why this experience was so much better than the other times he’d done this.

Soon, they both started breathing slower and getting calmer. He heard Felix laugh a little.

“There’s no way the members don’t know what just happened.” he said, with a smile on his face. “Specially Chan. He can’t act for shit. He knows.”

Changbin found kind of amusing how Felix was finding this situation funny, contrasting to how he reacted when the members found out he was gay. He had this relaxed expression on his face and a shine to his eyes. He just looked very happy. But also tired.

“Do you wanna take a bath now and face the members?” asked Changbin. “Or face them later and just sleep like this?”

Felix became silent for a few seconds.

“I really like the thought of a bath right now. But there’s no way I’m coming out of the room like this. So let’s just sleep for now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it was disappointing


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post this tomorrow but I got too excited oops

Chan wasn’t an idiot. He knew what was happening between Felix and Changbin the moment he saw them together on Felix’s bed. To be honest, they were not subtle about it and Changbin didn’t look as if he really cared. That’s why, he tried to not act as if he knew and left as soon as he could.

He also was aware that something was blooming between Minho and Jisung, but that seemed more complicated. Chan knew they did... things, sometimes, but Minho was still acting as if they were just friends. Jisung wasn’t like that though. Chan could see the look in Jisung’s eyes when Minho would turn around. That boy had caught feelings and was definitely feeling terrible because of it.

He wished he could talk with him about it. Actually he wished he could with all of them, to make sure they were okay.

But he had his own issues to deal with at the moment.

Woojin had been acting odd lately. He was quiet and dazed off a lot when Chan was talking to him. The leader didn’t really get it at first. He thought that it was probably the stress from the comeback, but didn’t seem right. Sure they were always stressed before comebacks, and some of them even went quiet when that happened.

But Woojin was only being quiet to Chan. To the other members he was just like his usual self. Talkative and playful with the younger members. He hugged them and asked if they needed anything. He was nice and smiled at them.

But with Chan, he was always either not focused or just quiet, with a empty expression on his face. Chan didn’t want to read more into it, but he couldn’t just ignore what was happening. Every time Chan talked to him, he would only answer in a monotone. He looked rather uncomfortable around the leader.

The comeback was supposed to start tomorrow. All the members were focused on practicing. Everything needed to be perfect. And Chan was sleeping even less than usual. Because he was the leader, he also had to deal with many other things besides practice. The company would always schedule meetings and he had to attend them, no matter how busy he was or how tired.

But this time, Woojin decided to come with him. He didn’t understand why. He had been avoiding him for the last week or so, but now he wanted to tag along? To a boring meeting at the company? Why?

Chan didn’t question it though. He let the boy get into the van with him and they were both silent on the way to the building. Chan wanted to talk to him, about anything really. He just really hated this weird silence between them. But he turned away and kept his quiet. Woojin would talk to him when he wanted to.

The meeting itself was just as boring as Chan had expected it would be. He found himself dozing off many times. Surprisingly, Woojin did a lot of talking, in terms of the comeback and their next schedules. Chan really tried to pay attention to what they were talking, but he really couldn’t. He hadn’t slept in 2 days. He was incredibly tired and even keeping his eyes open was difficult at this point.

Their manager didn’t seem to pay much attention to that though, as Woojin was keeping him focused on the conversation.

After two hours, they were dismissed. Woojin and Chan walked to the van in silence. Chan noticed the bags under Woojin’s eyes. It was late. He must’ve been very tired as well. He could’ve stayed home and slept for a little longer. Why did he come?

As soon as they got into the van, Woojin turned to him.

“You can sleep during the ride home.” the older boy said. “I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

Chan looked at him confused.

“You’re tired too.” he said. “Aren’t you going to sleep too?”

Woojin gave him a soft smile. More than he had done for the entirety of the past week. Chan had missed this. How sweet Woojin’s smiled looked.

“It’s okay. You have more on your shoulders than I do.” he explained.

Chan was going to question him about it, but was interrupted.

“Just sleep, Chan.” the oldest told him. “I’ll take care of everything.”

Chan then nodded slightly and let his head slowly fall onto the window of the van. He closed his eyes. He was starting to fall into sleep, when he felt a hand on the side of his head, pulling it to the other side. His head then was positioned on Woojin’s shoulder. He kept his eyes closed. He hoped Woojin couldn’t see the flush on his cheeks in the dim light of the car.

The members were all waiting backstage for their first performance of the comeback song. They were all nervous. They didn’t know how the fans would react to the performance. They had watched the music video, but hadn’t seen much of the dance yet. Chan was worried about it. They had practiced as much as they could, but he was always afraid of making mistakes or slipping.

But he tried to stay positive and make sure everyone was doing okay. He looked around. All the members were ready and talking to each other in excitement. Chan smiled. He was nervous, but also felt good at the same time. Comebacks were always both stressful and fun at the same time.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Woojin smiling at him softly.

“It’ll be okay. We’ll do well.” he said. “Don’t worry.”

Chan smiled back.

“I know.”

A staff came in and told them it was time to go on stage. They all cheered and walked up to perform.

Everything went well, just like Woojin had told him it would. Chan was proud of them. They all had worked very hard to be here. They always did. Despite getting distracted with other things... they were all able to practice well and perform just fine.

They went through all their schedules for the day and Chan decided to treat the members with dinner at night. They all deserved it.

All the members were happy, despite being tired. They decided to eat on a normal barbecue restaurant. They wanted to drink alcohol too, but Chan told them that since they schedules early the next morning, they couldn’t drink tonight. They were disappointed but okay with it anyway.

Woojin was very different than he had been the past week. He was bright and talkative, even with Chan. Actually, he was even _more_ talkative with Chan than he was being with the other members. The leader found that rather weird but was liking t anyway.

Maybe he would be ready to talk to Chan about what had happened soon.

They all ate and joked around, but soon enough they began to quiet down and get tired and sleepy. Chan then paid for everything and called the members to go to the van. Some of the boys ended up falling asleep during the ride back home. Chan couldn’t help but smile at how cute Changbin and Felix looked cuddled together in the back seat. He would make sure to protect them. Jisung was also asleep, besides Minho, who kept staring at the rapper with a weird expression. Chan knew that something was definitely up with them, but didn’t wanna bother them about it just now.

Woojin was also sitting beside him. And Chan might have thought that the way their hands kept on brushing against each other wasn’t completely accidental. Woojin wasn’t looking at him, but it didn’t feel like he was avoiding him or anything. Chan didn’t know what to think about it. He had this soft look in his eyes and a relaxed expression. Woojin looked just as handsome as he always did, but could never get used to it.

When they finally got to the dorms, Woojin helped him to wake all the members and lead them to their apartment. Changbin was seemed specially tired, but Felix was holding him and making sure he didn’t run into a wall or something. Chan was sure that if they weren’t already dating, they would soon.

After they got home and everyone headed to their rooms, Woojin and Chan were left alone in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes. They had many schedules tomorrow, so Chan it was best to clean them now and have more time tomorrow. Woojin offered to help and stayed with him.

They both cleaned the dishes in silence at first, but Chan thought this could be an opportunity to finally have a conversation with Woojin about what was happening with him and if Chan could help in some way.

“Woojin,” he started speaking in a nervous way, without looking at the vocalist. “I have been meaning to ask you about this... Why were you acting so weird with me for the past week? And then suddenly started being close again...”

The boy didn’t say anything at first and Chan suspected he wasn’t going to explain. That he was going to just ignore the question and stay silent until they went to sleep. But he was wrong. Woojin did explain the situation. It just wasn’t the reason he had been expecting.

“I was thinking. Trying to organize my thoughts.” he said softly. “And I couldn’t do that very well when you were around me.”

Chan almost choked in his own saliva. What did Woojin even mean by that? That he couldn’t think properly around Chan? It couldn’t be what he was thinking, right?

Then Chan felt a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to turn around slowly. Woojin was facing him with a smile. It was a sweet one, like he always smiled towards the members. But it looked different somehow. There was something different about the way he was looking at Chan.

“But when I was done thinking, I realized that I missed you.” he said. “Being close to you. I missed that. I wanted to take care of you and help you... and be with you.” his voice was soft and loving. It sounded like it came out of a dream.

Chan felt his heart beating faster, as Woojin got closer.

“What do you mean by that?” he managed to ask.

Woojin smiled.

“I was questioning my life because I thought I only liked girls, but,” he started, looking down. “I realized that I think I like you, Chan. Not in a friendly way... And I know you like me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and yes, I am adding woochan to the mix and since this is a fanfiction and I can do whatever the fuck I want, woojin is still gonna be in skz in this fic bc I WANT TO OK


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of you had been asking me how I can update so fast and to be honest I truly don't know. I just write really fast. I've been writing all my life and it became so natural to me now that it's really easy to write pretty much about anything. Also I have no self control whatsoever? Oh and I type VERY fast

Woojin leaned in slowly. Their lips close enough that Chan could feel Woojin breathe against his skin. Chan looked at Woojin’s lips. They looked so soft and close... He had been imagining how they feel like against his own lips for so long, that seeing it this close was making his heart do weird things.

Woojin smiled, probably knowing the effect he was having over Chan.

“Can I?” he asked, while looking at Chan’s lips.

And how could he ever say no?

He nodded and it only took a second until Woojin was kissing him, pressing their mouths together and moving in a slow rhythm. Chan couldn’t believe this was really happening. Everything felt so surreal.

Woojin moved forward until Chan felt his back hit the sink and he was being pressed against it, as the kiss started to become more intense. Woojin moved his lips as if he was hungry for Chan, like he couldn’t waste any second breathing. Chan was overwhelmed with excitement.

But soon, they had to break apart to breathe and Woojin took the opportunity to attach Chan’s neck, sucking on the pale skin. Those would give the make up artists a headache trying to cover up, but it was worth it. Chan felt in heaven. Every single touch from Woojin felt like it was burning his skin.

He didn’t care if he was getting his clothes wet with soup from the dishes, he just wanted Woojin to touch him.

But of course, Chan was never such a lucky guy.

He heard a cough coming from the kitchen door and they both separated as fast as they could. Woojin just turned to the table and Chan stood by the sink, staring at Seungmin, who had a tired expression on his face.

“I’m here just to get some water.” the boy said, and went to get a class.

He opened the fridge and grabbed the water bottle. He slowly filled his glass and drank it calmly. During the whole thing, both Woojin and Chan had shocked looks on their faces. Seungmin had just caught them fully making out in the kitchen, but didn’t seem surprised or like he even cared.

The boy then put everything back in its place and went to door.

“By all means,” he said before crossing the entrance to the kitchen. His voice in a monotone. “Continue sucking each other’s face off. I’m going to bed. Good night.”

Chan and Woojin just stared at each other astonished by everything that had just happened.

After that, Chan and Woojin were still acting all weird. They weren’t avoiding each other, by any means. The problem here is that they were _way_ too close. Even the members started pointing it out. They tried to keep it simple in front of cameras and fans though.

But, to everyone in the group, it was pretty obvious something between the two oldest members had changed. And it seemed to make them more than happy. No one complained, they were just surprised. Chan and Woojin always seemed very... friendly. And now, they were still very close, but just... not so friendly anymore.

Chan knew that soon he would have to talk to the members. Not only about his new found relationship with Woojin, but also about the other members who were going around with each other. He needed to make sure everyone was safe and that no one would find out, for their own protection.

But for now, he would let it slide. The comeback was already keeping them busy enough. They didn’t have time for these sorts of personal meetings just yet.

So Chan let them fool around, still trying to make sure they wouldn’t do anything stupid. Woojin was also aware of what the other boys were doing and helped Chan keep an eye on them. To be honest, it’s not like he wasn’t experimenting as well. Woojin and him also had their fair share of fooling around by now...

They were very close to the end of promotions. As much as they liked meeting the fans and performing, they were also tired. They wanted a break and to be able to spend more times with their friends and family. They would still need to train and work but the “usual” amount was okay.

They only had 3 more days of promotion and Chan would finally be able to sleep a normal amount of hours. All the members looked pretty exhausted by now. Chan was going to talk to their manager to ask if they could have a week long vacation after the promotions were over. He was sure the members would be happy to have some free time after working so hard.

It had become a common thing, to find other members getting _too_ close to each other at the dorms or even in the changing room in music shows. They were all kind of aware of what was happening and who was going out with who by now, but they never talked about it, really. The most they would do is make some jokes and give each other knowing looks.

The rooms at the dorm were also a mess. Felix had basically moved out of their room by now, and would always sleep with Changbin. Something Jeongin didn’t seem to like so much, so he decided to take Felix’s place in their room. Jisung and Minho would always be in each other’s rooms but they didn’t move their things out or anything just yet. Seungmin was spending a lot of time with Hyunjin recently and Chan didn’t mind that at all. Actually they were probably the only two members who were keeping their “thing” actually quiet, and the leader couldn’t be more thankful.

But Jeongin moving to their room made things a bit complicated though. The boy was already an adult and didn’t care about the members fooling around at all, but Chan had hoped that when Felix moved out, he would finally be able to get some alone time with Woojin. And now that Jeongin was there with them, the chances of that happening just hit a new low.

Chan had always gotten a bit needy of affection when he got stressed or when he was tired, and now that he had Woojin, all he could think about is how he wanted to be close to him and cuddle with him. He might also want to do some not so innocent things with the vocalist, but he wouldn’t admit that just yet.

And no offense to the youngest member, Chan truly loved him, but Jeongin was kinda being a pain right now. Chan was starting to truly get annoyed with how much he spent in the room.

And that’s why Chan was being pressed against the bathroom wall right now. Woojin had gotten quite impatient today. They had many schedules with barely any break between them. And now that most members were eating in the kitchen, Chan and Woojin were making out in the bathroom. He never thought he would something like this in his life, but there’s a first time for everything apparently.

He moaned when he felt Woojin bite his bottom lip, while he had a leg in between Chan’s thighs. Woojin’s hand was placed on his waist. He never thought Woojin would be so... intense. He always had this thought that Woojin was always sweet and calm, but apparently that was very far from reality. He was actually being quite rough with Chan right now.

Chan wasn’t complaining though. He actually really liked it. And that was probably pretty obvious by how he was moaning Woojin’s name right now. At this point he didn’t even care if the other members could hear him. It’s not like they didn’t know Woojin and him had been doing... things. Most the members were doing it too, so what?

“Woojin... Ah...” he whined. “Please...”

Woojin pressed against his crouch even harder with his thigh. Chan never though he would be able to come like this, but now he was pretty sure that, if Woojin kept going like this, he would come in his pants like a teenager. That didn’t seem to bother Woojin at all though.

“Do you think you can come more than once for me, Channie?” the oldest asked. His voice lower than Chan has ever heard. It was so hot! How was Chan supposed to not think about this at every moment in life after this?

Chan nodded fast. He never came more than one, but he was sure he could with Woojin.

“I can. I can.” he started mumbling with pleasure. “I’ll come as many times as you want.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that, Chan realized as he looked at Woojin, who was smiling at him mischievously. He was fucked.

Woojin then went down on his knees, as he kept on staring at Chan’s eyes. His hands touching the skin under his shirt as he got crouched down. Chan thought that this was a really good angle for him.

The vocalist started opening Chan’s pants and lowering them, bringing his underwear along. Woojin had never been the shy type about his body, but he couldn’t help but turn his head away so Woojin wouldn’t see the blush on his cheeks. That didn’t seem to stop the vocalist though, as he grabbed Chan’s cock with his hand and started stroking him slowly. Chan moaned at the touch.

Woojin didn’t waste much time though. Soon enough he had his mouth around Chan’s member, just the tip for now. His tongue was licking the pushing on the slit and Chan could swear that if Woojin kept on doing that, he would come way too soon. But thankfully, Woojin seemed to get bored of it. He then started to go deeper, mouthing more and more of Chan’s cock. He couldn’t fit everything, obviously. This was his first experience in giving someone a blowjob after all.

He was trying really hard to please Chan though. And it was working, because at this point, Chan already his eyes closed and his head pushed back against the wall. One of his hands traveled to the top of Woojin’s head, grabbing the hair between his fingers. Woojin moaned around him. He must have liked that, Chan thought. So he gave it a slightly pull and Woojin closed his eyes in pleasure. Saliva was dripping from his mouth onto the floor, and had tears on his cheeks. He looked beautiful.

Chan didn’t last very long, as expected. Woojin was actually really good at this, despite having no experience whatsoever. He tried to warn Woojin so he could pull off but the boy didn’t seem interested in doing that, and couldn’t hold for much longer, so he ended up coming into Woojin’s mouth.

He arched his back in pure ecstasy. Woojin didn’t take his mouth off of him and kept on licking the sides with his tongue, pleasuring Chan even throughout his orgasm. Chan noticed he was moaning quite loudly now, but he could be bothered to stop. He probably wouldn’t be able to stop even if tried.

After he was calming down a little bit, he looked down to see Woojin taking his mouth off his cock. His face was flushed and his eyes had tears in them. His mouth was a complete mess. He had a mixture of his own saliva and Chan’s come all over his lips and jaw, some even dripping onto the boy’s lap.

Chan thought he could’ve come again just by looking at this.

It didn’t stop there though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and yep I'm already writing the next chapter so don't worry, it's probably gonna be up tmrw lol, or later today since it's currently 3:30 am where I live oops


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating the last few days i got super busy all of a sudden but i think i can go back to updating all the time now lol

Chan was going to help Woojin as well, when he got up from his knees, but the oldest member didn’t seem to have interest in doing that. He started making out with Chan once again, but only for a few minutes until he separated their mouths, but keeping his leg in between Chan’s thighs.

“Ready to go again?” the boy asked with a devilish look in his eyes. He looked as if he was ready to devour Chan whole.

Chan was still sensitive from coming just now, but he didn’t care. He wanted to please Woojin. And if he wanted Chan to come a hundred times, he would try his best to do so.

But this time, Woojin sit down the toilet with the lid down and tapped his thigh, while looking at Chan.

“Can you come just by grinding on my thigh?”

Chan was shocked by the question to be honest. He never thought Woojin could be into this sort of thing, but he wasn’t against it. So he nodded once again and took his pants and underwear completely off. He walked up to Woojin and looked at him with questioning eyes, trying to see what the boy wanted him to do now.

Woojin motioned for him to sit on only one of his thighs. Chan did as he was asked in silence, but still being very shy about it. He sat down and couldn’t help the shiver that went down his spine when his dick got in contact with the fabric of Woojin’s shorts.He had almost forgot how sensitive he was still.

Chan felt both of the vocalist’s arms grab his waist and pull him closer, involving him in his figure. Couldn’t could help but think how it would feel like to get fucked by Woojin in this same position.

“Start moving, princess.” Woojin told him with a fake sweetness in his voice.

Chan was surprised by the nickname, specially since it was feminine one. But he was even more shocked for the fact that he really _liked_ that. He wasn’t questioning his gender, no. He was very sure he was a dude, but for some reason, having Woojin call him something like that... it made his dick twitch. He had never felt that way before.

The leader then started moving his hips and immediately felt these bolts of pleasure and pain wander through his body. He never tried coming more than once before because of this reason, it hurt. But now something was different. Woojin. He wanted to be good for him. So he kept going, even if it hurt a little.

At some point, he noticed that he had started crying from overestimation, but he didn’t care. It was good. The pain was still there, but there was also an immense amount of pleasure as well. It was just on the _verge_ of being too much to handle.

“Woojin... It hurts...” he whined without meaning to.

The vocalist turned his head to look at him, he had worry in his expression.

“Do you want to stop, Channie?” he asked in all seriousness.

Chan denied very strongly. It did hurt, but he liked it. He enjoyed the pain. It was a good pain, if you could say that.

“Then be a good girl and come for me, okay?” Woojin said while smiling innocently at Chan, who only moaned loudly in response.

_Good girl._

He knew he was close. But it was so hard. There wasn’t enough pressure yet. He needed something more. It could be anything, just to push him over the edge. Anything.

Woojin must have noticed this, because soon enough he also started grinding his hips, trying to get Chan’s thigh, that was in between his own, to touch his covered member. Chan tried to push forward, so they would be even closer, if that still possible. It must have worked because Woojin’s breathing was getting faster with every moment.

It only took a few more thrusts for Chan to come, arching his back and digging his nails in the skin of Woojin’s back. The vocalist grabbed Chan’s waist and kept on grinding against him as well, but Chan could barely process the whole thing, as he was still breathing hard with a hazy mind.

A few seconds later, he heard Woojin moan against the skin f his neck. He did so a few times, each time getting lower and lower until it became just fast breathing.

They were both still pretty overwhelmed with what had just happened. Chan looked at Woojin and smiled tiredly, which was responded with a giggle from the man. The sweetest giggle. There such a contrast between how sweet Woojin would be normally to how rough he could get in these situations. Chan never thought he would be able to see any of this.

“Good girl and princess, huh?” Chan asked with a smile on his face. “Never thought you would be into that.”

Woojin laughed.

“You liked it.”

Let’s just say that the other members had heard a lot of what had happened in the bathroom. Both Chan and Woojin received a lot of questioning looks when they got out. They couldn’t be bothered to care though, as Chan was very tired. Woojin just ignored their member’s snorts and guided Chan into the bedroom, so they could take a nap.

It was their last performance. They only needed to do this and they could finally get a break. The promotions had been hard on all of them. And even though, they were excited for the break, they were a bit sad for the fans. So Chan promised himself to show up often on vlive to make up for it.

The performance itself was easy and the fans were screaming loudly too. The members had smiles on their faces and would often try to interact with the people in the audience. Chan was once again reminded of why he loved doing this so much.

After they finished performing and were done saying goodbye to the fans, they all decided backstage to go to get some drinks. Chan had promised the older members of the team that they would be able to drink once the activities were over, so he knew they have been expecting this.

Everyone got into a van and waited to get into the restaurant Chan had talked with them about. He made sure the manager got a private room for them, so the members would get their privacy while drinking and eating. He knew that some of them would get drunk and didn’t want to expose them to everyone in that manner.

And, exactly as he had imagined, some members did get drunk. Chan was one of them. He had been dealing with so much because of the comeback, he just felt like blowing off steam for a bit. They didn’t work the next day and no one was here to see them anyway. The manager said he would drive them home, so they could get as drunk as they wanted.

Woojin was also drinking, but not as much as Chan. He was only taking random sips here and there, while talking to Minho about something Chan wasn’t paying attention to. It was just small talk anyway.

But Chan knew that he was truly getting drunk when he started feeling needy. It was something he had never told anyway before. He was got horny when he drank. He never understood why. Maybe it was the wildness of it. But the worst part of it is that he was getting needy in front of other people, so he couldn’t do anything about it.

So he kept on staring at Woojin who was sitting right next to him. His hair was messy and he had pushed it back, so his forehead was showing. He had taken off his jacket and the shirt underneath it was a sleeveless one. The hole for the arms were so big, Chan could almost see his chest. The leader gulped. He was really getting horny now.

“Don’t stare so much.” he heard Changbin say next to him. “You look like you devour him or something.”

The rapper probably had intended it as a joke, but as drunk as Chan was right now, he didn’t really think of it like that.

“I do.” he responded, still keeping his eyes on Woojin, but tilting his head slightly, to get a better view. “I really do...”

He never even turned around to see Changbin’s reaction, he just kept on staring at the boy in front of him. He looked so hot right now. How could he ever just stay still and keep his hands to himself?

The moment he let his hand fall on Woojin’s thighs, underneath the table, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop. Woojin looked at him, shocked at what Chan was doing. He couldn’t even be bothered to make his face look normal. He knew he probably looked just like he was feeling right now. Woojin must have noticed it too, as he looked around the table for a few seconds, to check if anyone had noticed it as well.

Chan didn’t even care if they did. At this point, he probably would like it if Woojin stripped him naked in front of everyone. They would see how their leader submitted _so_ well to Woojin.

“Channie, baby.” Woojin said. His voice had a slight underlying feeling of dominance. Chan shivered just by hearing it. “What are you doing?”

Chan only smiled and got closer to Woojin.

“Kiss me.” he asked the vocalist.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay guys, so this is the final chapter for this story. Don't be sad, bc I will be writing more about these pairing and other fun stuff in the future. But it is the end for this one here. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I loved writing it. If you do wanna talk to me or just know about future fics, u can follow me on my nsfw acc on twitter the @ is also sungshaze. i also have a fanart acc on ig and I post some stuff of skz there as well, it's oceanaview.

Woojin looked at him horrified. Chan was aware he had said loud and clear. All the members had heard him, but he didn’t care. He had began to get tired of the whole hiding him. All of them knew what was going anyway! Might as well act normal.

“Chan...” Woojin warned him. “We’re in public.”

The leader only got closer to him.

“They all know we’re dating anyway.” he said nonchalantly. “Just kiss me, please.”

Woojin looked around. The other members were all looking at them, but none of them seemed to care much if they did kiss or not. They were not surprised at all. Actually most of them just looked curious to see the two kiss. Woojin then sighed and got closer to Chan, putting a hand on the back of his neck, which made the other shiver.

The moment Woojin closed the distance between their mouths, Chan heard gasps coming from their members. That only made him even more excited. He kept on pushing closer to Woojin, until he was almost sitting on his lap.

But soon, Chan started getting breathless and separated their lips. He used the opportunity to look around. He saw that most of the members were not looking at them anymore, instead, some of them were actually paying attention to another couple within the table. Changbin and Felix, that is. They had also started kissing. Much sweeter and calmer than the way Woojin and Chan were kissing just now. But that also didn’t seem to surprise anyone.

To be honest, the rest of the members were looking quite exasperated, as if they all wanted to do the same.

The next couple to start making out was actually really unexpected to Chan. Because it wasn’t really a couple at all. It was a trio. Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin. Hyunjin had been in the middle and was switching between the two members, who later also kissed each other. Chan never imagined that there would be any poly members, but he was happy for them.

It didn’t take long for Jisung and Minho start kissing as well.

And just like that, they were all making out with each other. Chan never thought something like this would ever happen, but no one was complaining. To be honest, for the sound of their breathing getting faster and faster, they all seemed to be enjoying themselves quite a bit.

Chan knew that, had he been sober, he would never have asked Woojin to kiss him in front of the other members. He was a bit shy when it came to anything involving Woojin. But, with all the alcohol going through his system, he really didn’t care enough. He was definitely flustered right now, but it was more of excitement than anything else.

Woojin moved his hands to grab Chan’s waist and pull him onto his lap. He did it with one single fast move. Chan kept his legs tight around Woojin’s thighs, so he wouldn’t slide off. Woojin kept on looking at him with hunger in his eyes. Something he always found surprising, no matter how many times they did this.

“Was my princess too needy to wait until we got home?” the vocalist asked, loud and clear. Chan was sure the word “princess” had been understood by all the members. He felt a slight blush creep over his cheeks. “Did my baby girl want to touch me this badly?”

Chan nodded and started grinding his hips slightly. Woojin smiled, but used his hands to still Chan’s body.

“You wanna be a good girl?” he asked the leader, who nodded eagerly. “Then you have to promise me to stay put until we get home, okay?”

Chan didn’t like that. He wanted to play with Woojin right now, but he still accepted anyway, because he wanted to be good for Woojin. Whatever he wanted, Chan would do it.

“Can we still kiss though?” he asked.

Woojin smiled at him, wide and sweet. His hair was even messier than before, thanks to Chan.

“Of course, princess.” he said. “You can kiss me all you want!”

And they did. They all did, in fact. The rest of the night was spent with a lot of drunken make out sessions, from all the members. Chan knew that he should probably be more surprised by what was happening, but, while looking at Woojin, he couldn’t bring himself to care right now.

The next day was more awkward though. Because none of the members drank enough to forget what they did the night before and now they couldn’t each other in the eyes. Chan couldn’t help but do the same. It was embarrassing, really. All the members had not only seen him make out with Woojin, but also had seen the oldest call him feminine nicknames. Chan knew he shouldn’t feel embarrassed by something like that. All the members probably also do “unconventional” things with each other, but he just felt very shy about this one thing for some reason.

He was afraid they would make fun of him for liking being called princess. It was not even a gender identity thing. He just liked it. Chan really didn’t know why. He also only found out he liked when Woojin did it, that time in the bathroom.

But it seemed like he wasn’t the only one getting really awkward around the other. Both Hyunjin and Jeongin were nowhere to be seen, although Seungmin looked just fine. He was talking to everyone like nothing had happened. Chan wasn’t really surprised by that. Seungmin was never the type to care much about these sorts of things. He never gave a fuck about a lot of things really.

Jisung was out of his room, but every time he would even look at Chan or Woojin, his cheeks would get incredibly red and he would look down. Minho just seemed tired and with a hangover. Didn’t seem to care much about what happened much over his headache.

Woojin was fine. He wasn’t really 100% shameless, but he certainly didn’t seem to mind the fact that the others had seen him and Chan together. Actually, Chan might even say he looked quite pleased with finally being able to act cuddly with boyfriend in the dorm like he wanted so much.

Chan also couldn’t say he wasn’t happy about it as well. He didn’t have to hide so much anymore. Just the fact that he could sit around and cuddle with his boyfriend in the couch, while watching movies, and sometimes even get some kisses from him, was good enough. He didn’t have to keep an eye open every time they would make out in their room, just in case someone came in.

Now it was fine. Sure, it would still be awkward if someone did come in while they were at it, but it wasn’t like “you don’t know I’m dating another men” type of awkwardness. It was just the normal caught in the act thing. And that was fine. Even before this whole had started, Chan had coincidentally walked in on his members jerking off his fair share of times. And this happened to pretty much everyone who had to live in a dorm. Everyone knew this even before they moved in together. When you live with this many people, privacy is just barely existent.

He still though that they all should have a meeting about this though. Just so they could settle some basic rules. The whole group was now involved in this. If one of them were to be found out, all of them would go down. Setting rules would make sure this whole thing would be kept in secret.

This was a sad truth. That idols had to hide themselves and act as if they were not even human sometimes. Finding love and dating was something most people would do at least once in their lives. Why couldn’t idols do the same? Why did they have to act as if they didn’t feel anything at all?

“Chan.” he heard Changbin call his name, interrupting his thoughts. “Are you okay?”

The leader turned around to take a look at his friend. Changbin had a worried expression on his face.

“Are you okay? You drank yesterday. Do you have a hangover or something?”

Chan denies him with his head and smiles at him. Changbin was always worried about how he was doing. Chan could still remember how the rapper would complain about how late he would leave the studio, telling him that he worked too much. Well, it was true.

“I’m fine.” he answered. “I’m just thinking about holding a meeting. You know... about the whole dating other members thing... We should talk about it and set some rules, just in case.”

Changbin visibly blushed, but agreed anyways. He said he would talk to the members to come to the living room after dinner, so they could all talk. He said that he would tell them what it was about if they got curious, but wouldn’t say much.

Woojin also came to talk to him later that day, asking about what Changbin had told him. About the meeting that is. He asked if Chan felt like he needed any help to talk to the kids, but Chan just said that they all would be doing the talking so he would be fine. Woojin was glad that he wouldn’t have to worry much.

But when everyone was in the living room waiting for someone to start talking, it was a different story. Chan knew this was going to happen. In every meeting they ever had, it had all started with Chan speaking, so of course they would be waiting for Chan to talk first even now.

He sighed.

“So, we all know that everyone in this group is fucking around with each other.” he said. “There’s no need to be ashamed of it or to act as if it’s not happening. We’re all doing it. But I think that, for everyone’s safety, it is best if we decided on some rules.”

The members were a bit surprised with Chan’s use of curse words, since it was something he didn’t really use with the members very often. But they were all adults now, there was no need to sugar-coat things.

“If any of this leaves the dorm, we could be in trouble. Serious trouble. The company would have to step in, and we all know we don’t want that to happen.” he continued. “So, to prevent that from happening, let’s make some rules. Any suggestions.”

Everyone was quiet. Chan was also not surprised.

“I have one.” Woojin was the first one to speak up. “We have to talk about doing stuff... in public.”

Chan blushed. He knew he had been the first one to break that rule yesterday. This was probably some sort of punishment coming from Woojin.

“We know that some of the members get a bit... needy in public,” he continued. “But, we all know that doing that sort of thing is very risky. Yesterday was... a tiny slip. But I know Jisung and Minho have done other things like that in public places, and no, don’t even try to lie to me right now.”

Chan wanted to laugh, seeing Jisung’s red face, but he kept his cool.

“Anyone could have walked in on us yesterday. We just got lucky no one did. But there’s no way of knowing when someone could get caught, so it’s best to not do it altogether.”

Although, everyone was embarrassed about talking about this sort of stuff, they all knew that it was needed. They all agreed to it. Chan started writing down the first rule.

The second one, surprisingly, came from Felix.

“If anyone wants to buy sex related things,” he spoke, trying to hide how pink his face had become, considering this rule was about him in a way. “Make sure to buy it somewhere that will keep your identity a secret. If you find a way to buy it without putting any of your own information, even better.”

Everyone nodded along. It was a good rule. Since, condoms, lube and other products would be used by pretty much everyone, probably.

Chan smiled at Felix, for speaking up.

And for the next hour or so, they kept on deciding on rules to keep their relationships safe. Most of them were around showing too much affection in public or in places that had cameras. They decided that the dorm was the only place that they could freely do what they wanted.

They also decided on changing roommates, since it would be weird to keep sleeping in other rooms or finding things from other members with your own. It would be best if the couples stayed together. But since Hyunjin, Jeongin and Seungmin were dating each other, they were given the biggest room, which was the one Chan had been sleeping in. After they decided which rooms would be changed, they decided to order food for dinner.

They would start moving their things around tomorrow. Today, they were tired and hungry. Some were still feeling the hangover from the day before, so Chan told them to take their time with changing rooms. There was no need to rush.

Chan was proud of them. Not only they had learned how to accept themselves and each other, but they willing to come out about their relation ships to the rest of the group and set rules. The whole seemed even a bit too good to be true, but it work out eventually.

And to think this whole thing started with Felix and his search history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember that if you have any questions or just wanna be friends, you can just dm me on twt and i promise i will try my best to answer whenever. Thank you all for reading this and staying until the end! Bye hehehe


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